157: Motherhood’s Impact on Business Mastery and Personal Growth

Andrea Liebross: Welcome to the Time to Level Up Podcast. I'm your host, Andrea Liebross. Each week, I focus on the systems, strategy, and big thinking you need to CEO your business and life to the next level. Are you ready? Let's go.

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Time to Level Up Podcast. Coming to you the week before Thanksgiving for my new office. We're trying this out. We're continuing to try things out. It is like a science experiment in here. Where am I going to put my desk? Which direction is it going to face? How low to put the shade? How much light do I need? What about my new camera? All the things.

Alright, so today what we're going to talk about though, in the episode is being a mom and being a business owner. I recently had the opportunity to be in person with eight of my clients and then I had the opportunity to kind of do just off-the-cuff conversations with a whole bunch of other clients via Zoom.

In these conversations, I asked them a bunch of questions about motherhood and business ownership. I thought their answers were really intriguing. I've compiled some of those, and this is another episode in our “What does the audience say?” series. I’ve got some really good clips of audio that you need to hear with the hope that you will recognize that you are not alone. You're not alone.

You will also recognize that there are lots of resources out there, lots of ways to support yourself to get that full life support that you need, crave, and want in order to be an amazing mom, the amazing mom that you know you're capable of and a great business owner. Let's dig in.

I think we often think about what is hard about being a mom and a business owner but do we give equal airtime to what is not necessarily easy, but what is great about being a mom and a business owner? If we were to give each of those thoughts, which they are, like “This is hard,” or “This is great,” their thoughts, if we were to give those equal airtime, I think things might change for you in terms of how you feel, what you do, and the results you get in both motherhood and your business.

When I asked this question, what's great about being a mom and a business owner, everybody's face lit up. Everybody's face lit up. That was telling because so often we don't get that kind of question. Actually, a couple of people even said to me, “I'm so glad you're asking me these questions because I haven’t really thought about these things.”

It was also interesting too just when I was in person with some of these women, hearing them talk about their families and how their families were so excited for them to come on the retreat. It wasn't like they were giving them a hard time, did they wish they were home and maybe the daily routine stayed the same, we didn't have to have a babysitter or another parent or grandparents step in in their absence? Sure.

But retreat members shared with me that when they told their kids where they were going and what they were doing, the kids were intrigued and excited for them. I think that really, there are so many amazing things about being a mom and a business owner that we often overlook.

What I'm going to share here are clips from these conversations that I had with my clients and I want you to notice that what they're really doing is exercising one of the five essentials of big thinking. They are sharing what I call thought options. They have lots of options about how they want to think about the intersection of motherhood and business ownership.

In these clips you're about to hear, notice that they're all choosing thoughts that trigger a feeling that they want that serves them that then leads them to an action they also desire and create a result that they want out of having a thought that serves them about being both a mom and a business owner.

We work a lot on thought options and coaching. It is something that they probably have become really good at and I want you to notice are you really good at this or could you benefit from some practice? Here we are. We're going to dive into the responses I got to the question: What do you think is the best thing about being a mom and a business owner?

Cynde: I think, hopefully, giving my kid an example of how you can really work hard to make something succeed, how you can do multiple things, and have kind of these different parts of you like you can be a mom, you can be a business owner, and you can be a gym rat, you can do these different things. It's okay if it's not perfect all the time.

Aileen: I have never ever thought twice about being working mom. I've never thought to myself, “Oh, I should be there for my family. I should be a 100% present mom and I'll be better.” No. For me, I know myself and I know that working makes me a better mom.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, so your thought is “Working makes me a better mom,” not “Working makes me less of a mom or not as efficient and loving mom.”

Aileen: Yeah, and be able to appreciate the time with my kids when I have it.

Stephanie: Well, I would probably say first and foremost, it's an honor and privilege. I've been doing this for 15 years and started in business pre-kids so I was fortunate enough to put in some processes and procedures to help streamline things along the way.

I say it's an honor and privilege because I really tried to streamline my approach. I have my kids and there's this side of me and then I have my profession and it's this side. I tried to focus on how I am raising the kids and leading our home the same way as I'm building out character roles in our business.

When we have a new position that comes up, allowing our team like, “Okay, here's what's expected, and this is what we have for you, and here are the building blocks to get you to these places of success.” Only they can take those steps to get there.

I think that it’s the same with my kids. They're nine and eleven so we're past the point of infancy, we're past the point of toddlerhood. Now they're kids and it's a lot of fun, but we have expectations for them and they have responsibilities.

I think to keep it streamlined and not to make it complicated really has helped me lead my team at the business and then also help my kids be sound humans and hopefully make a contribution, a great contribution one day.

Whitney: I think everyone is different in terms of how they want to raise their kids and what that looks like for them. I think for me, it gives me more dimension to myself. I have this outlet of owning this business. Everyone may not feel that way and that's totally okay. But for me, I think probably it does make me a better mom because I have this other outlet that I can pour some of myself into while also pouring into my kids.

Tiffany: I do love the freedom. I know they say if you have your own business, you can work any 100 hours of the week you want to. But I love the fact that I can schedule something so I could go to my kid's school events that happen at 9:00 or 10:00 and I'm not tied to having to show up at an office. I love that freedom.

I love the learning side of this. I love figuring things out. It's not easy. It's really hard and it can be defeating. But for me, I'm like, “Okay, well, that didn't work. But what is the next thing that could work?”

Andrea Liebross: Yeah, the science experiment.

Tiffany: Yeah. It just keeps me going. I think it helped me through a lot of even more like mom's struggles when I was having babies because I had to show up every day. There was no I get to stay in bed if I'm tired. It was you get up, you show up, and then you do it again tomorrow. That really helped me through some really tough challenges in life.

Andrea Liebross: It's true when you think about, actually, I just thought about this, as a mom, no days off really. There are no days off and as a business owner, there are no days off either but you can plan how you want to use your day, but you are still the owner. Whether you're working the business that day or not, you're still the owner. It's kind of the same sort of thing. I never really thought of it that way but it's true.

Now both of these jobs are demanding. Mom and business owner jobs, they both have responsibilities and there is some sort of push and pull between them. But what is amazing is I see an amazing transformation in my clients because as we work on, we practice, and we test “all the ways” that they can balance the demands of both, I think they've all realized or the conclusion that they have drawn from this science experiment about can we balance things is that there is such a thing as balance but it is fleeting.

The way I know this is based on science. Think about a teeter-totter. It only stays in the middle in that balanced position for a quick second before someone pushes off and the teeter-totter goes the other way. Think about that. There's no such thing as balanced or that it is fleeting. As you listen to these responses about balance, they're all different, but I don't think anyone thinks they have conquered the balance thing.

Also, here's another little tidbit I want you to think about, your kids and home are always changing and change is innate. You want them to change and grow and your business is changing too and that is the way you want it to be. You want it to be evolving.

Between those two innate change factors, the teeter-totter definitely could only be balanced for a split second. Perhaps we go with the thought that things cannot be balanced, and that's okay, or there is no such thing as balanced, and that's okay. Or we go with the thought that I am working toward moving things forward all the time, not staying still and not staying balanced.

Alright, listen into these clips, notice everybody feels a little different but again, that's because they all know they have thought options. Listen to these clips where they answer the question: How do you balance the demands of running a business and the responsibilities of being a mom?

Aileen: Yeah. I have found some strategies that work. First, in my daily work schedule, I run a 7:00 AM to 3:00 PM work schedule, 7:00 AM to about eight-ish, I'm doing emails and different things and then I get the kids off to school. Then I see clients from nine to three, so my day ends at three.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, just like [inaudible] sort of.

Aileen: Exactly. Then I'm able to pick up, and I don't have to pick them up every day. I'm lucky about that. But when I do, I pick them up and I hang out with them. I'm a victim of my phone so I do check my phone later evening and I return Voxers, but otherwise I try not to do any work after three.

Andrea Liebross: I love that hack.

Aileen: On my own business, I could just block it off on my calendar and tell my clients that I don’t [inaudible].

Andrea Liebross: I love it. Taking the reins.

Cynde: I do feel like it's a challenge because of travel. For me, that's where the balancing comes in. When I'm on the road, I don't talk to my kids very much when I'm away and I think it started when they were younger because they would get so upset when they talk to me that it was easier to not talk to me when I was away because then I felt like I was just leaving a puddle for Joe to deal with at night consoling them after we got on the phone.

I don't know if that's kind of a habit that we got into. I do try to reach out on Discord, the vehicle that they communicate in now, just to kind of check in with their mental health and that sort of thing. But what I found just in the middle of a couple of weeks of being away for four or five days and then home for two days and so one of those days that I'm home has really just been like a half a day of, “Okay, we need to physically make sure that everybody's got what they need for the week. There's food, there are clothes, that everybody's caught up.”

Because I feel like when I'm not there, there's nobody making sure it happens, which is something that they are totally capable of doing, but they just don't when I'm without the reminders. In dealing with the business and family, it's like I haven't had the headspace to get them to take responsibility for it entirely on their own so that I feel like when I come home, there's a lot of catch-up and kind of setup for the week for them to be able to manage their stuff.

Jeani: First off, I would say you're not going to balance them. I would toss that idea in the trash. Personally, it was helpful for me once I did. There were seasons in my life where I was more of a mom when they were very little and then I'm less of a mom and there's always going to be that guilt.

I'm not less of a mom right now. But I have this winter, I will be traveling for almost three weeks straight, maybe a little over three weeks and I've never been gone from them that long but I also know I'm showing them what it is to be an entrepreneur and that's really important to me.

I've grown up. Both sides of my family go back into business ownership as far as I know. That's important to me, and I think it's important for them to see me working. This is my life too. I get one circle around the sun so I have to remind myself that sometimes, and this is what fills me up. It's what makes me a better mom.

Right now, this season is a little bit different than it was like 10 years ago when they were babies. I have to give myself that grace and let it be a little bit messy from time to time. But it's never going to be balanced. There are seasons. There are seasons throughout the year. There are seasons throughout my life.

I know summer, my kids come home, they do a lot of animal stuff. I know that I have to design my business that I can pull back my hours or at least be more flexible in the summer so I go really hard in the winter. I really try to plan and give myself grace and let it be messy.

I’m trying to remember which book it was but in it, they talked about something really great. Wouldn't it be great if your kid went to school and their clothes were all wrinkled and the teacher was like, “Oh, Jimmy, your mom must be working on a really exciting full project right now.”

Wouldn't that be great if the people around us, that’s what they knew? It wasn't like the laundry is getting done, it's just all in a big clean pile and they gotta grab their stuff right now because maybe you're in a stretch and it's a home stretch. It's a sprint during this period of life. I think about that a lot. I think when I feel that tug of regret or all those things, I remind myself that.

Andrea Liebross: I love that one. When you started to say that, I was thinking, what if Jimmy's teacher said, “Jimmy, your mom must be doing amazing things,” that's what kind of clicked through my mind.

Jeani: Right. I think the story we tell ourselves is that everybody's judging us. Maybe some people are, but that's okay. I can't do anything about that.

Stephanie: I mean, I was thinking about that. I think when I think of balance, I think like this. I am balanced. I have my personal and I have my professional. I have my business and I have my kids. By investing in myself, then I can really have a clearer picture of what my priorities are and then I can create profitability for my family as a whole and my team as a whole.

I was thinking about this as I was thinking about our conversation. I was like, “No, this is not a conversation about finance, but it really translates.” If I'm balanced, sometimes I'm going to be a little bit more over here on the personal, sometimes I’m going to be a little bit more on professional, but getting back to that balance and investing in myself, whether it's morning devotions, going for a walk, or working out, doing those types of things will help me have that clear perspective which I think it's easier when you seek to live in a space of balance.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, a clear perspective, she said. That brings me to my next point, decision-making. Both the roles of mom and business owner involve making lots and lots of decisions and it is estimated, I looked this up, that the average adult makes 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day.

Just that fact sounds really tiring, doesn't it? Sounds tiring saying it. As a business owner and a mom, we probably make even more than 35,000 decisions. But here is the thing. My clients, through coaching, become expert decision-makers. I think that's probably one of the most powerful results of coaching, becoming a confident decision-maker. Being a mom does influence how you make those decisions.

What would happen if you became an expert, confident decision-maker? What would be different? I will tell you that I have become a pretty good decision-maker. That was definitely apparent over the past 18 months as we built this house and I wrote this book. I do not dwell on things for long periods of time.

I think it's had a huge impact on how I am able to not just get things done, but how I am able to think about the world. “How do you think being a mom has influenced how you approach decision-making in your business?” was a question I posed and here are their answers.

Aileen: I think it's being able to coach. A lot of the clients that I have that are in career transition are also parents. I think since I have had to work on myself and my own balance and boundaries that I've had to put in place for work and life, I've been able to share some of those with my clients because most of the people I work with are like 20-25 plus year professionals that are seeking more balance maybe after a job that caused burnout so I'm able to help them with strategies to think about how they can be selective with their new role so that they're able to achieve more of that balance.

We do talk about personal stuff during the coaching session. I work with them on boundary-setting, time management, how to be a little bit more present in both aspects of their life, and share some of the things that have worked for me but also allow them to be kind to themselves when they're burned out at night and maybe they're not getting the attention that they need. I think that really drives how I coach my own clients.

Cynde: I laugh a lot because I definitely put on a mom hat when I'm talking to kids. When we go inside the Whale, they get to touch bones and baleen and the bones are not the same. The teeth are not the same and they only get one of them. They'll be like, “Do we get to touch the other ones?” I'm like, “No, life is not fair sometimes. You just get one.”

Or if they ask to go to the back of the Whale, I'll be like, “Nope,” and they're like, “But why?” “It's because I said so.” A lot of times, I feel like I talked to them like I would my own kids as a way to manage them and be like, “I'm here to teach you about whales but this is also a life lesson too that you don't get everything you want all the time.” Kind of like the preschool, you get what you get and you don't get [inaudible].

But I think also with running a business, there are so many things that need to happen and they say that we can't technically multitask. But when you're a mom, you're thinking about all kinds of different thing: keeping everybody's schedule straight and the house and what's coming up, appointments, all of that stuff. Managing all that is a skill that then you can transfer to the business to manage all the different aspects of the business.

Jeani: Yeah, I think so. I serve a construction industry and I grew up in that industry. Because it's a very male-dominated industry, I think, growing up, we saw a lot of people or I had a lot of people around me and mentors of mine that were men that were able to give so much more to their career, their peers, their customers, or whatever it was that maybe they should because somebody was back home holding down the fort.

I think everything's evolved. Life is just different now. The expectations in homes are different now. I think the exciting thing about my industry is I see a lot of women organizations inside the industry, there's so much more spotlight on the women in the industry, the key roles they play, the need we have for them in the industry, which I love and I'm super excited about.

But one of the transitions that I see there is when I was young before I had kids, I would probably give too much of myself to my customers, to the crew, to everybody else. Not only do I have to hold that back now because my family needs some of that, but also, I don't have to give them all of me all the time.

I will get lots of conferences this year, I don't have to go out and drink with these men all night or women, whoever, to feel that or to deliver a great service and value to them. I think that was a real great gift to myself that I wish I would have known earlier in life that I didn't understand until motherhood and being a wife and everything.

Sometimes when I'm out there now and I see people, even them have families at home and it's sad when I don't see that in them, like when I see them still giving really more than they should because it's not necessary, it's quality over quantity. I give the pieces of me and the brain part of me that they need the most. But I keep other things that are sacred for my family or for myself even. There's something in that. It's hard to articulate.

Andrea Liebross: I want to wrap up our episode today with a few clips about “Is this a good time to own a business, to start a business, to grow a business? Do I need to wait until my kids are XYZ ages to start a business or grow the existing one?” This is sort of like when they start school, then I will. Or once they're out of the house, then I will. That kind of thinking, which I am never a big fan of.

I always said there's no better time than the present because there is no better time really honestly, there is always something going on. I asked my clients what they thought about the thinking that there is a good time. What I got was that there is never a good time and every time is a good time because you evolve and your kids evolve.

Like I said, your kids are always changing and your business is always changing so you can't have that balance. You figure things out. The kids, the business, the clients, and the teammates, they figure things out as it relates to where you're at, what you're providing, what time you have. There's another awesome result of working, doing this work worth doing, doing this work on your mindset in order for you to be a stronger and better decision-maker, there's more evidence right there.

As you listen to these clips, recognize that no one is saying waiting for something to change is a solution. But creating change is the solution. Alright, some clips about whether or not it's a good time to start a business or is there a better time when your kids are a certain age.

Cynde: I mean one of the things that I always say is that I would be a better mom if I didn't love whales so much, I think that's also something that my kids see that they probably can't identify now, they probably can't say what they think about it, but I think as they get older, they're going to see that I was able to follow my passion and do something that I really love doing. I hope that they see that and are able to incorporate that into their life.

Andrea Liebross: Do you think it's fair to say that owning a business has positively impacted your motherhood journey?

Cynde: I definitely think so. I definitely think so. I guess I'm not a person that has always felt like just being a mother identifies me or defines me. That hasn't been me. I don't know if that's the chicken or the egg because I've always had the whale piece. That came before kids. But I think that it definitely has enhanced it. Even me being able to go away and get my whale fixed, that helps me come back, be more present, and be more engaged with the kids instead of feeling burned out.

Stephanie: Well, I think back about myself and I think about my resume before I came to the business and how I utilize those skills and qualifications to help change the trajectory of our company, I think as a mom and the investments we make into our family and our home, there's just so many amazing qualities that we have, whether it's planning or it's organization, yes, it's away from a resume but give yourself the time to put it on paper and remember your strengths before you became a mom because I guarantee, you're utilizing those strengths as a mom. Whatever your heart is encouraging you, if you're feeling that there's more, then you have a responsibility to seek that out whether it starts in a small group of people who encourage you or it starts on a piece of paper and a business plan.

Andrea Liebross: Alright, my friends, that is what I have for you today. My summary. There are many, many amazing things about being a mom and a business owner. It is not just hard, that is number one. Number two point I want you to walk away with is that balance is fleeting, and let's change that thought to we are working toward moving forward and not just staying balanced or stagnant. Moving forward sounds way more exciting, doesn't it? Than balance.

The third point I want you to remember is that your mom's skills impact your decision-making skills as a business owner and vice versa. Being a confident decision-maker might be your number one secret weapon.

Fourth, there's never a good time to grow a business or start a business. The last fifth thing that I'm going to leave you with is summed up from a client who was also a coach herself.

Aileen: Yes. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I think anyone needs sort of a partner from an outside perspective who can help them make these decisions quickly, be able to prioritize, and affirm that they can figure it out. We can't necessarily do that for ourselves. We tend to be able to help others in that crisis situation. But when we're in it ourselves, even if we are coaches, we need that from someone else. I think it's critical.

Andrea Liebross: So, my friends, who is your coach? If you don't have a coach, I would be honored to be yours. Now, right now December is the perfect time to get your coaching lined up for 2024. Give yourself that gift. Give yourself that necessity. It is not just a gift. Let's get a consult call on the books before Christmas.

This consult call is complimentary, but yet worth thousands of dollars. You will leave that call, I guarantee you, with clarity, knowing whether coaching is right for you, and if it is, what coaching program is your best fit. You're going to leave with clarity. You're going to leave with knowing what support you need and what is best for you.

If it's not me, if I'm not the support, I'll help you. I'll put you in the right direction. But these consult calls are really the golden tickets to your extraordinary future, to your extraordinary 2024. Go to andreaslinks.com, schedule your call. If you get in now before January, you will receive a complimentary ticket to She Thinks Big Live happening in January. You'll also get to be part of our annual planning that's happening in January.

If you haven't gotten your ticket to She Thinks Big Live, you need to do that. You can do that, just purchase that separately too at andreaslinks.com. It's happening. You need to be there. You need to be in that particular room filled with amazing people. If you want all the details on all of this, you need to also go get on my email list for Tuesday Takeaways.

Alright, that's it. That's all I've got for today. Remember it, my friends, it's time to level up. It's here. It's the end of 2023. Time to do it. Moms, business owners, everyone and I'm here to support you along the way. See you next time.

Hey, listening to podcasts is great. But you also have to do something to kick your business up a notch. You need to take some action, right? Go to andreaslinks.com and take the quiz. I guarantee you'll walk away knowing exactly what your next best step is to level up.