55: Sarah Khan on How to Create Routines

TTLU Episode 55

[00:00:00] you're listening to the time to level up podcast. I'm your host business life coach Andrea Libra. I help women in business commit to their own growth personally and professionally each week. I'll bring you strategies to help you think clearly gain company. Make your time productive, turn every obstacle into an opportunity and finally overcome the overwhelm so that you can make money and manage life.

Let's create a plan. So you have a profitable business, successful career, and best of all, live with unapologetic ambition. Are you ready to drop the drama and figure out the how in order to reach your goals? You're in the right place. It's time to level up. Let's do this.[00:01:00]

Hey, time to love up listeners. Welcome back to the podcast today. I am having a conversation with my client, Sarah, and when Sarah and I first met about a year ago. She was literally and figuratively swimming in a puddle of chocolate. She was about to embark on selling her granola chocolate business and was really wanting to figure out what was next.

And over the past year, She has given herself the space to explore her options. And I think something amazing [00:02:00] that has come out of this is she has realized that she does not need to be attached to how the exploration would look or what the outcome would be, but rather committed to the process of allowing herself the freedom to.

Explore and enjoy the journey. So sit back, buckle up and listening to my conversation with Sarah. Hey, time to level up listeners. Welcome back to the podcast today. I have my client, Sarah with me, and we are going to have an amazing discussion about how Sarah has changed really over the past. It's almost been a year.

Almost a year. So, um, I am just going to let her introduce herself and then we'll start in on a fabulous discussion. Go for it. [00:03:00] Hello. Hi, Andrea slipping to be here this morning. So I'm Sarah Khan and I'm a wife. I'm a mother of a daughter who is up and out now. And. When I thought about what I was going to say, what I'm doing, but right now I'm just doing a lot of exploration.

I just came off of a business and, um, and I'm exploring different opportunities. Um, all those things that I put on the back burner while I was in my career, let's say, so now, Giving myself that space to explore the options and, um, figure out what's next. And maybe what's next has to explore more options.

So, um, that's what I'm doing right now. I would say Sarah is a Renaissance woman. That is my definition of what Sarah, who Sarah is [00:04:00] at least in this stage of life. And I think when we first met each other, you were really trying to, like, you were agonizing over selling your business. So Sarah has had many businesses, but most recently, um, she was agonizing over selling her, her business with where she created tablet.

Correct. Yeah. And all sorts of animals, granola. Right. Um, and she was really struggling with that, but that we, you got through that, look at that you got through that. And now over the past year, you've really been figuring out what's next. And I think it's really important for you listeners to recognize that it takes, it took a lot of courage to get out of that business and sell it and be okay with giving yourself the time and space to explore.

Yes. Yes. Selling the business. It's your baby, right? It's something you create. [00:05:00] And, um, And it's I was listening what you always say, you start with a purpose and because it was something that you enjoyed and then it becomes a job and then you go down that hole and everything else gets in the way. And you're, as you said to me, I was in the, uh, puddle of chocolate and, um, and then deciding that it was time to move on and then.

See my self aware, I am like, oh, where am I? Who am I? If I'm not my business and how do we identify ourselves? Right. If the business goes away, then. And that's kind of a little bit of an identity price in a sense. It is. I became, oh, you used to own that company. Like, oh yes. That was me who I used to. And it took months before even closing down.

[00:06:00] Um, you know, um, the bank account and it just going through the process of closing one, uh, aspect of that business at a time, the biggest close is close. The business, you sell, everything was gone, but then it's all those other things that linger on. And now it's all put to bed. Yeah. Look at that. Look at that.

So, okay. So I think when you started, so Sarah has been in my group coaching program coming into growth. And I think when you started, you were very much, um, problem. Well, now let's say you're more about what do I need to do? Like, what is my action? How am I going to solve this? What do you thinks changed since then?

Because I wouldn't say right now you are all about the actions and what you're doing. What are you all about? Well, yeah, there was so much in, just in general in decision. [00:07:00] Um, and I was living like in the past, but always thinking about what's next. So now I see things, um, I'm more focused, right? Um, I, I create.

If I, if I like to do something, I create a plan and then more, um, like we talk about solving problems, right. I, I think about something. So we know that we always say our thoughts are there is the actions, right. Thoughts and actions. So we get the results that we're looking for. There was all this evidence of your thought.

So the result is evidence of your thought, right? Yes. Thank you. And. And so now I even wrote that down there's hope line. I always get mixed up, but. I think more is a vision. Right. And I think about, okay, this is, we talked about casting than that. [00:08:00] And what do, what does that look like? And what are the steps that I need to do to get there?

I mean, it can be just something simple, um, baking something. Okay. So when do I need to gather for that? Um, so each part of the. And I, I could take it right from the beginning, as opposed to, before I go right to the future. And I get so overwhelmed with what the end being was that I didn't just think about.

Okay. What's the first step that I need to do, even just starting to enjoy the process. Yes. Because there was so much evolution in the process and so much to celebrate. And in the past who celebrated anything, you know, when it comes to business, right. You just sort of say, oh yeah, next, next, next. But when you're working [00:09:00] through the process and enjoying the steps along the way is there's just a lot more, it's a lot more fun.

And then you get to be more curious, right? And, um, so you wrote down as well. That's what I was going to say. You wrote down. Cause I, I always ask my podcast, guests a couple of questions before you record, and I'm looking at what you wrote and you said, I used to put everything ahead of what I wanted most, what I wanted most due to the fear of the unknown.

So you were already like ahead and then there was. Of unknown. Right? And then if you made a mistake, you went all the way back to the beginning or all the way to the future and said, this isn't going to work. Or why did I even try this? But now what I see I've seen in [00:10:00] you is that you really enjoying the process and you're okay with making mistakes along the way and just reevaluating and moving from where you are right now, maybe in the mistake to the next step and not having to go back to the beginning.

Fair. Is that fair? Exactly. And not agonizing over, is it the right one? Should I pick this or that? And spend hours or days decide to make the decision? No, a B minus is better than a plus and just say, okay, this is what it is. I can edit at another time. And, um, and that's made the coaching has made a huge difference in, in just life.

In general. My, my dad would tell him, says that I'm more relaxed. What do you mean by that? You're more relaxed. You're so chill. I think when I'm speaking to her, whatever she might say. You know, those, you know how they are at 25, they scout things that [00:11:00] you to see how you going to react, then I'm like, oh, okay.

Oh yeah, sure, no problem. What do you, how do you want to go about doing that? And as opposed to me, like putting all of my expectations on her, um, so we've had that conversation. So even, so I think this is a great byproduct of coaching, but a lot of times people's families start to recognize, huh? Something is different.

Yes. Yes. And then I sent her some of little coaching tips. No, not the, like if we had a guest coach and she'll listen or she'll Google them. So it's just the. It's beautiful to see that in other people. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Tell me, um, tell me about [00:12:00] how you go. You have great daily ritual re daily rituals, but I think a year ago you would have told me, well, I don't know what you would exactly tell me, but you have learned to.

How, how do you describe your daily rituals to me? What do you tell us about that and how that, so I, I ha I started with these, uh, daily rituals of okay. Five things that I'm going to do in the mornings. And, um, and I, and it's usually around meditation and yoga and, and that kind of thing and breathing exercises.

So I thought, okay. Um, what, and I've tried. And I had eight things between five 30 and eight 30 in the morning. Cause then I have yoga. So I had too many things. So my ritual was [00:13:00] getting through my yoga, my morning meditation practice. My, I picked up the course in miracles and then, uh, I do another passage that I read and meditate on.

Now, um, I wake up in the morning and I really have basically four things that I do. I do the course in miracles. I read from the book of awakening. I meditate and I journal and then, and then my breathing exercise doesn't oh, remember when we talked about it? Doesn't always have to look the same. Yeah. So sometimes I go into my yoga room and I do a complete breathing practice.

And other times when I'm meditating, I incorporate that in. So. And then, so that was sort of my morning rituals. Then I have to tell you, I have afternoon [00:14:00] ones where I, I do, I listen to music or I chant, and then I'll do afternoon meditation. And those kind of come in whenever they come in at Cantin could be me three minutes.

It doesn't mean that I have to set out this whole entire situation for it to happen. It could happen anywhere. It could happen in the. Okay. So those are sort of my rituals and I have an evening ritual as well, reflecting on the day. And then I have a sleeping before bed ritual about meditation and a massage.

And that. Someone in our coaching class came up with, I can't say receipt down this list and she checks it off. So I thought, okay, that's brilliant. I'm going to check it off. And it's there. And it's, it's kind of nice. Like it just kind of confirms that what you're doing is [00:15:00] what you want to be doing. Yeah.

So what's there has, is in a frame on her desk. She has typed out their daily rituals. 1, 2, 3, 4, Right or five, and that she's just framed it and she can take a dry erase marker and like check them off as she does them. Right. So it's a great reminder. Someone else did this in our group for their kids and they kind of did it for chores and things that they need to do on a daily basis and made a frame for each kid.

And I did. I do think that was a brilliant idea. So I, as you were talking, I thought about two things stuck out. Number one, you really have adapted. Or adopted the thinking that even though they're rituals, they don't always have to look the same. They don't have to, you don't have to. Yeah. You don't have to do them in the same order.

You don't even have to do the same. Maybe it's just reading and it's reading something different every day. It doesn't have to be the same thing. Maybe it's journaling and some days you spend 10 minutes and some days you spent two minutes, [00:16:00] it doesn't always have to look the same. Right. It's very freeing when we can think that.

Exactly. And, and, you know, if I didn't have an hour yoga practice, If I didn't have, I didn't do it or I would, I had to say, but now I, I don't know. I guess I have, it's like my you're thinking differently. That's kind of like minimum baseline, right? Like maybe you're not doing yoga for an hour, but you're okay.

Doing yoga for 15 minutes and you'd rather just do it. Let's do it for 15 minutes and that's okay. Right. That. I also think when we talk about like people w people strive to have routines and they want to have habits and they think it's going to feel so good to have that to have a routine or a habit.

And I think it does feel good. However, we can talk ourselves out of it or throw our hands up and say, forget it. Very quickly when [00:17:00] we are not adapting or adopting the thinking of it, doesn't have to look exactly the same or it doesn't have to take the same amount of time, or it doesn't have to be the same book.

We will quickly throw things out. But this really was you an example of you changing the way you were thinking, which led you to field three. Right. Which led you to take the actions, the same sort of actions, maybe in a different order looks slightly different, but the result you're getting is the same in the sense of it's giving you that sense of, um, grounding, right.

And an accomplishment. Exactly. Um, it really does. And I didn't start with, okay. These are the things I want. I started with one, one thing at a time. Because just to make that a habit, because it's something I really wanted to do and experience and explore and set up my day, [00:18:00] setting ourselves up for success.

Yeah, exactly. And, um, and I, and, and so I wanted something small that I could be committed. And I thought the best way that I can start is by doing those morning rituals or the morning routine or originally routine that was pushed aside before. Yeah. It's a routine and you were committed. That's a good point too.

Like just committing, it feels really good to commit to something and it doesn't have to be a big something. It can be a little something. Right. All right. So tell me, tell me it, tell the audience. Okay. So you recently had a surgery. Oh. And how do you think you would've approached, preparing for the surgery [00:19:00] in the past?

And how did, how did you approach preparing for it? This, you know, just last month, because I, I was really, um, happily. I was delighted in seeing you kind of thrive in that post-operative period because so many people, well, don't tell us about that. This was, this is, um, okay. So, um, leading up to it. I, I, I, you know, I did some soul searching a work and I decided that, okay.

I needed to prepare my family, my home and myself. And what did that look like? And I created what I needed to do for each of those categories. And I also decided that the time that it was, I was giving myself the next eight weeks, which was to the end of this year to, [00:20:00] to heal, to not take anything on new projects.

And I had a few new things that I wanted to do, and I re-evaluated, um, My essentials of what I was going to accomplish at the end of the year. And so I created these cysts, the schedule. I brought my family into it and I allowed them what they were going to do to take care of me. I needed support from outside to drive me to, to the appointments after surgery.

Um, so I had set that all up so that when I could be home, that I didn't have to worry about the meals or. The home cleaning or any of those things, I could just focus on the healing. And then, um, so I was, I set myself up [00:21:00] sort of like everything is taken care of everyone is onboard. And, and then I, during that, after this post-surgery I just allowed my husband and I daughter, she came home.

Take care of everything. I didn't even metal into whatever they were doing. And, um, and then I, I said, okay, what does my morning ritual look like? I knew that it would be there. It changed. I, I, there was certain things like yoga is not possible right now. I can do a little bit, but I'm okay with that because I spend more time.

With the other parts of my practice that I enjoy, I read more. So I made her a new reading list and I, I think I just decided that it was going to be okay not to leave my home [00:22:00] and just take the time that I needed. To really heal whole, as opposed to trying to push the, the healing process. When my body will allow me the time to heal and it will let me know when I could move on to the next.

I do meditate a lot though, a lot. Did I miss it a lot? Good. So, okay. So think about this. I have been using your, your thoughts. You've been thinking a lot about how to set yourself up for success in so many ways. So we can go back to like your morning routine. That's a way that you've been setting yourself up for success, right?

And during the day surgery, you kind of paused, thought about it, put some things into place. Set yourself up for success. But what I, what I've noticed this I've noticed with a lot of clients is really in [00:23:00] setting ourselves up for success. Oftentimes we have to relinquish power or the past, or a lot of it is relinquishing, um, or giving ourselves permission to do things differently.

It's really giving ourselves permission to do things differently. And when you say. I allowed myself to heal whole, right. You do, you considered like your whole being, not just trying to smash things into little compartments and like, this has to be done. I have to be ready to go in a week or I have to first, I mean, you, you really looked at the whole picture and again, like creating a morning routine, that's like looking at a whole picture.

So there's a lot of similarities, I think in the way that you've started to think about things that have created. This feeling of, um, I don't know. How do you feel? Like how do you feel, do you feel different? If I said, okay, go [00:24:00] back to January 1st and now think about now, how would you summarize how you feel differently?

That's a big question. No. Um, no, because I have, I have these two models. Okay. And I also frame those two models. Um, so I, um, this, that, whatever I'm going to do, that, whatever thoughts I have, um, I'm always thinking about what. That how I want to feel. And I want to, um, you know, I want to feel calm and cool or neutral about things grounded.

I feel grounded now. I enjoy, you know, my results on everything I do is that I enjoy myself. Like my husband's leaving in the morning and I'm singing. Not because he's leaving, just because I'm, I'm just happy. Right. I wake up in the morning and I say, okay, it's a new day. How am I going to. [00:25:00] Create today, how am I going to create that?

I need the coffee right now. So, and, and so I was organized before, but I just feel so much. I could move things around if they didn't get done in one day, there's enough time in my day, because I've created master schedules of where I can plug things in that I didn't have before. All I had is a list with no.

How long does it take to do that? What's realistic now I have focus time and, and so. All of that has changed. I could create that, you know, I could do all kinds of things, but I was always cramming at the end and feeling like you never had enough time. No, but I have plenty of time. [00:26:00] Yeah.

but you've figured out what matters most in every day. Right. You've decided you've kind of looked at things and with the bigger picture, kind of okay. What, um, how long is this going to take me and maybe I'm not going to get it all done today. You've really gotten good at like chunking things into little pieces.

Yeah. Right. And then you, and then you always kind of can come back around to like, what was the bigger vision of whatever you're trying to do or accomplish and keep giving that as allowing that to be grounding to you, to kind of really back in. Exactly. Yes, exactly. You fucking have the vision and you focus on the vision, but the daily day is to focus on what is happening right now, today.

What is the, what is the next action that I need to take to get to the vision as opposed to [00:27:00] so the process and that's the, this made a huge difference. Yeah. Um, it also allowed you to go from trying to be a perfectionist with a plus plus plus work of great, right then you're okay. Now, if it's just like a beat, like whatever.

Oh God. So I have lots of bees, but you know what? They all look good. They all look good. Even just moving things around and like it's good. It's perfect. The way it is. It's all. Okay. So tell me. Okay. Tell me about your cause. A lot of people ask me about this and I want to hear it straight from the horses.

And that's tell me about your experience inside group coaching. Like how, how did you go, how did you approach it? What did you find beneficial? How did tell me about that experience for you as the coach E so I approached it as. Of course in [00:28:00] college course, right. That you go to school and you're going to do all of the homework and you're, you're, you're going to, um, just submerge in everything that is there for you because in order, if, in order to.

Um, see success or to understand what it is. You, you really have to decide that you, you want to decide to be committed to whatever it is, all the homework. Uh, all the online and not be afraid to voice whatever it is that you have to voice. And, and I really wanted, I was looking for like-minded women. Um, you know, I was thinking about, it sounds so cliche, but your tribe of people that [00:29:00] are, have, they're thinking the same way and, and that, that support you.

And, and not, not going to judge you or whatever, because in coaching, you kind of say it all out there. There are, you know, it's it, it's all available. And it's safe. So, so that's how I approached it. And I just, every day I put it into how much, every day I would spend time on all of the modules and resources that we had and listening to podcasts.

So I think that. You always say that you, you get what you get out of something, what you put in. Right. And once I made the decision, which took me about a year to make, [00:30:00] because I still am the mud puddle of chocolate. Um, once I decided that I was in. Yeah, I think you figured out to how to, um, fit it into fit it into your day or your week.

Like in the little nooks and crannies, you be figured out listen to this or I'll whatever. Right. So that's also something that I think people worry about. Like, how am I going to get it all in? Or how am I going to do everything I want to take full advantage, but everybody figures it out. And full advantage.

It looks like different things for different people. Right. Everybody kind of figures it out in some, some weeks are a little behind them, then the next week comes, but it's okay because, um, you just take little pieces at a time listening to a podcast while you driving. Uh, Yeah, little, little a nuggets of time, but that you're, that it's always there and [00:31:00] not okay.

This week. And then next week it sort of has to be a part of your routine. It's on some level, right? Like opening up slack and reading what someone else might have to say or thinking about, okay, this is the homework for this week. What do I, and you think about it and maybe make some notes about it. Right.

What do I want to take away from this potentially. Exactly, exactly. And so you, you wrote and your book, and as we were preparing for the podcast you wrote, um, I had no way of knowing that it would evolve into such compassion for each other. Right? The other women are an inspiration. So I get inspiration by listening to all of you each week.

And there is something to be said about having a space where you can be vulnerable and yet feel so supported and [00:32:00] inspired. That's kind of how I feel. And individually we might do a private coffee time over zoom and. But you really care about the other people that you have never met in person. And when you do get the chance to meet them in person, it's like, oh, let's just pick up where we left off.

Right. And you think, how is this really going to work over soon? But it does it's. These mothers are open to the process. And I think I generally know that everyone really supports each other. It's so true. And it's so different and it's, it's just, I don't know. You created a nice, well, I love it. And I appreciate having you in there.

And I think I had to giggle because the last thing you wrote on this form that you [00:33:00] filled out for me was I asked myself, why did, why did you wait? So, oh yeah. Right. Why does that, why do we wait to do like anything? Why do we wait 99% of the time, the only reason we're waiting to do something, whatever it is is fear.

Like so true. I couldn't figure out well, what is it going to look like? Or. You have to have a career, you have to have a business. I don't have any of that. Um, I'm recovering, um, I'm a recovering business career and you're again, looking for the future or looking to the past instead of just saying, okay. Um, I'm just going to do it and see what happens.

Well, this has been so fun, chatting with you and so fun. Seeing this, you evolve over the past year, I've really enjoyed it. And I appreciate you being so vulnerable and sharing all the things that you've gone through on podcast. [00:34:00] Of course you make, you make it very easy. You make it easy to okay. If you're listening out there.

Think about it. Think about how, why do you wait to do anything? Why do you wait to change a morning routine or to even try to establish one? Why do you wait to, um, tell your family that you need them to help you? Right. Why do we wait? It's usually based off of some sort of fear, but once you create the power within yourself and thinking within yourself, To be okay with making mistakes or to be okay with whatever the outcome might be and it might not look perfect.

You open yourself up to so many more possibilities, so I hope you found today's discussion inspiring and help this help. Do you think about what's possible for you? [00:35:00] So thank you. So until next week, remember. There's never the perfect time. It's lower. You could always say it's always the perfect time to change what you're doing and to level up.

I will see you all next week. Thank you. Thank you, Andrea. You're welcome. Oh, I loved that conversation so much. I think one of my biggest takeaways was her ability to. Have routines have habits that were part of her exploratory process, but truly not be attached to what they looked like on a daily basis.

And to start to look at things from a whole different set of glasses, not to be always looking for the win or always looking for the results, but for looking for just to whatever the [00:36:00] next best step was. So. Thank you, Sarah. If you are wanting to explore what's next for you and do it in a way, which allows you to grow without stress let's chat.

Let's do it. Why not? If you're listening to this in December, there's no better time. No better time to decide. What you want 20, 22 to look like. And if you are a business owner with employees or contractors and are listening on the day of release December 7th, I invite you to join me this week, Wednesday and Thursday at 1:15 PM Eastern four, get a grip on your business.

Stop the fires and create the freedom. We're going to explore the process that I teach my clients to believe. [00:37:00] Manage lead and evaluate as they create their own runway to freedom within their business and get a grip on things. So be sure to check that out in the events tab of my website. All right. My friends until next week.

Remember now's the time. To level up, have a great week.

Thanks for listening to the time to level up podcast with me, your host, Andrea Lee bros. If you know someone who could benefit from listening to this episode, I encourage you to take a screenshot and share it with them. Okay. Now what about you? You've listened to the podcast. And if you now know that you're ready to upgrade your life, upgrade your business, upgrade you, then stop being only a listener and start being a little.

Living [00:38:00] that upgraded life, head over to my website and schedule a call right there on that call. We'll start changing the way you think and act so that you can have the freedom to achieve the impossible in life and business and have the resources to do it. You deserve an upgrade. Let's do it.