Here’s a hidden trap many women find themselves in when they know they want more: success. Yep, you read that right. Success can be a trap that keeps many women stuck where they’re at in business and in life. Maybe you feel like you want, or need, to be going in a different direction, or maybe you don’t even realize you’ve fallen into this trap. Either way, you’re stuck.
When women come to me for coaching because they’ve stopped moving or growing, it’s usually because they’re stuck in one of three mindsets: resigned pain, guilty curiosity, or frustrated future. As entrepreneurial females, these mindsets can create huge roadblocks to our growth, so let’s break them down into simple terms:
- Resigned pain: This mindset is full of negative emotions like guilt, resentment, emotional pain, and overwhelm. When you get stuck in this mindset, it’s usually because you’re operating at full throttle all the time and you’re used to resenting the fact that you don’t have the resources you need, or the courage to ask for them, to move into the next phase of your growth. At this point, you’re not even sure what that next phase is, you just know this isn’t it. And even if you did know, you’re not sure how you’d even get there.
- Guilty curiosity: In this mindset, you know you want to move into your next phase of growth, the desire is there, you’re just not sure if you’re capable of handling something new. After all, there’s nothing really wrong with where you’re at right now, so why continue pushing forward? Unfortunately, the voice inside your head and the feeling in your gut keep nudging you to make a move.
- Frustrated future: You know what you want, and you’ve been trying to get there, but nothing seems to work. This mindset is frustrating because you know your stuff! Everything you’ve learned and created in your business has gotten you to this point, so why can’t you make it to the next level?
When you’re spinning your wheels and never making a decision, something has to give. It’s time to ask for help. The truth? What keeps you stuck in these mindsets is fear. The fear of driving towards the success you crave. Because when you’re successful, you have something to lose.
I’ve had the opportunity to coach many women as they navigate these mindset hurdles, and what I’ve found is that there are essentially nine common fears successful entrepreneurial women face.
1. Fear of uncertainty
When you run a business, you want things nailed down. You don’t like it when you can’t control what could happen. You start to fear what you don’t know. What you don’t know becomes a strange, blank space. When you focus on it, it grows. It takes over, and suddenly, you feel like you don’t know anything at all. Since you don’t know, you don’t plan. With no plan, you don’t act. What action should you take? You don’t know.
2. Fear of change
This is like fear of uncertainty, but it usually focuses on the fear of a specific outcome of an action you might take or something new entering your world. With this fear, change becomes the enemy. It’s just another opportunity for new problems to arise and new problems create uncertainty.
3. Fear of risk
As entrepreneurs, we don’t have the protective shield of a corporate network available to protect us when things don’t go according to plan. With the fear of risk, it feels like all your decisions carry a lot of weight because your whole business could be at stake. So why risk it? Maybe instead of taking action, you want to take some time to think about it, learn more, and weigh all the options. That’s fine…until you wait, and wait, and wait, and eventually, you cripple your success because you’re never willing to take a risk.
4. Fear of success
Success sounds good, but underneath its rewarding factors, it also brings change. Change means venturing into the unknown where we can’t predict things. Before you know it, you’ve moved back into the fear of change.
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5. Fear of not being good enough
When I hear women say this, I immediately know this is their self-judgment speaking. When you look at yourself and constantly find yourself wanting new skills or knowledge, you’ll cripple your success.
6. Fear of not being perceived as good enough
A close cousin to the fear of not being good enough, the fear of not being seen as good enough can also be just as limiting. When entrepreneurial women discuss self-worth and pride, simply thinking about what other people will think of them and their possible failure creates a picture of humiliation that’s enough to keep them stuck where they’re at.
7. Fear of letting others down
The unwritten rule that women need to be there for their families and to manage their homes still exists. Its validity is beside the point; the assumption causes many women to question whether the success they desire is even possible. Letting people down who we’ve made commitments to is not a wonderful feeling and to avoid this, we often feel like we’re required to overcommit at the expense of our own wellbeing just to prove to others that we care and want to help.
8. Fear of not having enough money
Money gives you the power to do things, especially in your business. What if you don’t have enough? What if you can’t cover your business expenses? What if you can’t pay your team members? What if you don’t make enough to support your family’s needs? What if you don’t have enough to cover emergencies? All of these are valid questions, but you shouldn’t let them hold you back from achieving the success you desire. Often, there is a way to answer all these questions by simply taking a step back to look at the data and make a plan.
9. Fear of not having enough time
Sometimes, the fear of not having enough time to get everything done can paralyze you. If you keep measuring the time you don’t have, you won’t be able to choose your priorities. Everything will seem huge. What if you’re doing the wrong thing with what little time you have?
So, how can women overcome their fears to achieve the success they desire in life and in their businesses? As I always say, it’s time to THINK BIG.
Grow your business. Find your peace.
Anything can move from feeling impossible or out of reach to feeling inevitable and your reality. It’s a matter of changing your thinking and shifting from the “no way” constricting/restricting to the “of course” curious/freeing approach in life.
This transformation is exactly what I teach you how to achieve in my book, She Thinks Big: The Entrepreneurial Woman’s Guide to Moving Past the Messy Middle and into the Extraordinary.
Invest in the Future You and start embodying a Big Thinking mindset so you can implement a whole-life approach to growing your business while finding more peace in your personal life!
For MUST-HAVE planning tools that work seamlessly with the book to help you stop overthinking and make confident, quick decisions to get what you want — every single time, download my Think Big Toolkit. (I couldn’t fit everything in the book!)
