67: Guilt-Free Spending on Yourself

Episode 67- Spending Money on Yourself.mp3

[00:00:09] You're listening to the Time to Level Up podcast. I'm your host, business life coach Andrea Libros. I help women in business commit to their own

[00:00:20] Growth personally and professionally. Each week, I'll bring you strategies to help you think clearly gain confidence. Make your time productive. Turn every obstacle into an opportunity. And finally overcome the overwhelm so that you can make money and manage life. Let's create a plan so you have a profitable business, successful career. And best of all. Live with unapologetic ambition. Are you ready to drop the drama and figure out the how in order to reach your goals? You're in the right place. It's time to level up.

[00:00:57] Let's do this.

[00:01:11] Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast today. We are going to continue our conversation on worthiness and worth and kind of segway it into the next month's topic, which is creating creating a life, creating business, creating wealth, creating fun, creating things that benefit us. So today's topic is about. How to fix the fear of spending money on yourself, and this is very much tied to your view or your opinion of yourself and your own worthiness, your self value. So this is a great topic because it comes up so often in my work. It comes up right from the get go when when people decide to invest in coaching and then it comes up as we work together and they realize that they may want to add some things into their business or life that do cost money and should they be spending the money on them. But before we get started, I want to tell you a little bit more about Achieve More, Do Less, which is an in-person event happening in April over a day and a half or so in Carmel, Indiana, and you're invited, you are personally invited to take this time for yourself. So while you may be investing some time and some money, what you are gaining is tons of brainpower. And here's a couple of things you're going to walk away with. You're going to walk away knowing how to throw away a to do list and not use one ever again.

[00:03:05] You're going to walk away knowing the proven approach for eliminating what I call the Sunday Scaries. You're going to know why you should really only have about eight annual goals. You'll know my favorite technique for starting your day feeling your best. I'm going to share with you the number one reason achievers fail to reach their biggest goals, and you're going to know the recipe for my secret sauce, which is really the key to achieving more but doing less. And if you're listening to the podcast, you're likely a goal oriented, driven and ambitious woman. So imagine the energy being in a room full of women. I'm talking probably 20 to 40 women just like you, so don't wait a day longer. Go register now. The link is in the show notes, or you can find it achieve more, do less live. And hopefully there'll be some spots still open. Right now, we're about half full. Ok, so let's get into it. So here is the thing, OK? A lot of times we feel guilty spending money because we are really kind of stuck in a mindset of limiting beliefs, our mindsets filled with limiting beliefs. But one way to combat this is to really get crystal clear about the life you want and what you value. And when you know your values, there is a lot less guilt around spending when the things you're buying are enhancing your life in these areas that you value. Now, as I was preparing for this podcast, I actually was going to do a podcast on budgeting before this one.

[00:05:01] But when I kind of looked into what I wanted to tell you about budgeting, I was one of the one of the facets of budgeting is prioritizing what's important. Ok, and I really want you to take a deep look at this, prioritizing what's important now. This is not what I mean by this. It is not. I don't mean that having a fence around your house is not important. Ok, but is it the most important thing? What are the things that you value? Most and most people don't realize that when you connect your money to your life, dreams or values, it can really, really, really be empowering. And I have started to do this more and more in my life. In twenty twenty one, I really embraced this thought of connecting my money to my life's dreams and values. So working really to align your life in all areas is, in fact, one of the most beneficial ways to transform what's happening in your world inside and out. Ok. Because when you can align your life in all areas with the money you are spending, you start to align your spending with your desires and you eliminate any limiting beliefs that are holding you back. And you can create a financial plan to support your dreams. So. Think about. What it is in particular that you feel when you spend money on yourself.

[00:06:47] So the first thing I want to bank on here is recognizing your own negative beliefs. So does this sound like you at all? When you're deciding whether to spend money on yourself, I don't deserve this. There are people who need the money more than me. Money doesn't grow on trees. Maybe I'll do that next time. Oh, that's too much money. Most often than not, your biggest roadblock is the money mindset you have in your brain. It is the belief that you are undeserving of money. So I'll tell you a story I was coaching last week, a client and we were talking about worthiness. And she said, Why is it that I have no problem spending money on anything that has to do with our household, including decorating? But I have a really big problem buying a new computer for my business. Why is that? Why is that OK? We dug deep. We dug deep and there's lots of reasons, and I think I could keep coaching her on this and would even extract more. But when it came down to was that? She still isn't quite sure if her business is worthy of the new computer because she still sometimes thinks about her business as just kind of a fluke, like she can't believe it's happening. But her house? Oh, it's happening, man, they're living there every day, and other people can see the benefits of the money spent on the house, but no one can really see the benefits of the money spent on the computer.

[00:08:39] Interesting, right? So when we try to dream big and I tried to kind of push her into dreaming big about her business, there's a lesser known thing that is talked about in the budgeting world. And that is, if you attach your money to something bigger than yourself, you will see more money, save more money and all around have a healthier experience with money. So when we continue to play small, our experience with money continues to be painful when we start to dream big. Our experience with money becomes fun, and money sometimes are often more often than not will compound. So how do you begin to attach yourself and your money to something bigger? Then you? And it's really about asking yourself some questions. I recently read an article by a woman who has a website called The Fun Sized Life, and she has a theory called The Seven Whys. Ok, so if you think about this seven times why it's called seven times why. If you think about this, if someone said, Well, I want to make more money. And you said why? Well, because we need money to live. Why? Because when we have money to live, things feel easier. Why? Because we're not stressing about things. Why are you not stressing about things? Because we feel secure? Why do you feel secure? Because we know that we can provide for ourselves and anything that happens? Why do you know that? Because we see people who are struggling to provide for themselves? Why are they struggling? Because maybe they haven't gotten to themselves in a place where they can make money.

[00:10:45] Why haven't they done that? Maybe they haven't wrapped their head around their own value. So if you you can see if you keep asking yourself why seven times you usually get to the root of the problem and ultimately, what the seven times why method does is it helps you get deep down to the core of why you want more money. And chances are, if you keep going, if you keep going, you'll be crazy surprised at the answer. But you'll have a way better understanding of the true value that you place on money in your life. Ok. What do you need to reach that dream of yours, that big dream? What do you need? Ok? Start asking yourself what you need to achieve that dream and take time to write them down. And these things don't have to be material items, either. It doesn't have to be a computer. Ok. So, for example, I can get down to a place where I can say, why do I want more money? It's to live a life that I enjoy and that I can share with others that I can bring others into. Ok, and when I realized this, that sharing my life with others is super important to me. Helping others live a life of purpose and meaning has really always been part of my own desire and passion.

[00:12:22] It made me kind of emotional. Right. So start by doing a complete brain dump, get out a piece of paper, write it down, write down everything that comes into your head that you might need to achieve your dream and it might look like, OK, I need to listen to myself. I need to help others. I need to serve. I need to take action. I need to be grateful. I need to seek joy. I need to grow personally and professionally. And when you really look at that list of the things that you need to help serve your inner why? Pay attention to anything that kind of comes up over and over again. Ok, so anything that comes up over and over again, we'll help you understand what is really your true. Big dream. All right now. Let's talk about spending money on yourself now, you know, your big dream. All right. I want you to take time to look through your budget and see what purchases are not helping you toward your dream goals. This is the. This is kind of the entire premise on having a tool to create a budget next episode, we're going to talk about literally talk about budgeting. But. What areas of spending have you spent on in the past, but can see don't clearly help you get to your future goals? Huh? Take the time to cross those things off your spending plan.

[00:14:18] Ok, maybe there's things you're spending on that really don't serve you. And the more you can work to free up a little more of your income, the less likely you are to feel stressed out about spending in the areas that align with your life goals. But I want you to recognize, too. It is not all about eliminating spending. We don't have to eliminate any spending because usually when we have a budget, we actually start to create more money in the sense that you become smarter and savvier on how you're spending it. All right, so the more you can work to free up that little bit of your income, the less likely you are to be stressed and the more likely you are to create more money. All right. Now that you've kind of thought about all those areas, it's really time to create a list of items that you are going to give yourself full permission to spend on things that align with and help you reach your goals. Ok, because you should not have to constantly carry around the stress of spending money on yourself. And sometimes the only thing that's stopping you is permission. Right, we did a whole episode on giving yourself permission, so give yourself to permission to spend and do it with purpose. So, for example, I give myself full permission to spend whatever I want on my own coaching. Because I think that is the number one key to making me a better human being and letting me share my gifts with others.

[00:16:01] Ok. So while you don't necessarily need to need money to make all the things happen. In your life, it does help a lot. Let's be honest. All right, so you're your spending list might include things like movies streaming night out with girls travel. Ok. And no matter what your goal is in life, there are things that you can spend some money on to help enhance your human experience that you're not willing to give up because part of what life's all about, I'm going to guess for you is having a human experience. So dove deep down into what you want your life to look like and who you want to be. Now, my husband and I were just having a conversation about traveling to Europe, and we haven't really been doing too much traveling over the past two years, and we've also been trying to be very conscious of our spending. And he said, Well, this is going to be a big chunk of money if we want to go to Europe. And I said, I know, but traveling to me is one of the best parts of life and I'm not willing to give that up. Ok, so. Dove, deep down into what you want your life to look like and who you want to be. What does it look like? What do other people who have accomplished this goal? What are their lives look like? How do they spend their money? Now this is not to say that you need to be a copycat or jealous, but think about what I mean.

[00:17:29] When I say people that are living the life, we think on the outside at least look like the life you want to live. What are they spending on? Now, next kind of. Segment here is that there is a price for peace. There's a price for peace. I love when I read and listen to stories about people who are frugal and never spend money on themselves like they living the most simplistic life. Ok, but guess what? A lot of times those people are very anxious. And this was interesting that I saw this piece on a woman who really lived a very simplistic life but was super anxious and when she discovered that there was an app that could help her reduce her anxiety. But the annual fee was $50. She didn't go spend the $50 on that, even though that would help her, her instant response was guilt around money and her belief that she shouldn't spend that much on herself. So not spending money on something that has been proven to be beneficial for your mental health, proven to help you live a better life? Come on. Ridiculous, right? So when it comes to spending money on yourself, I want you to think about this story. You can be super frugal, but if there are things out there that help enhance your life, are they really the things that you want to be spending money on? Probably, yes.

[00:19:12] And you have to have enough awareness to notice if guilt or permission pop in there and know that you get to manage your mind around those thoughts. Ok, so be honest with yourself about a product or services ability to to help you in life. Ok? Like, think about it, even a good pair of high heels, a great haircut that can change the way you carry yourself so you can't change the world you can't fulfill. Probably your ultimate why? If you first don't change the way in which you show up. Ok, so think about it, there is a price for living a peaceful life. All right, so here's what I'm going to leave you with. I'm going to leave you with some thoughts about how to automate savings and make it easier. And we're going to really dove deep into this in the next episode. But I know I used to beat myself up month after month because I wouldn't be able to. I thought I wasn't able to save money no matter what. Like, I wasn't able like, why would I even try and even I used to tell myself I have the best intentions and I would try to tuck money into different accounts at one point we had all these different accounts. But then it just got super messy and I would overspend in one night from one account and not not spend it all from the other.

[00:20:46] So I started to use a software system called You Need a Budget, which we're going to talk about next episode, but I want you to at least start to think about how are you automating your savings? And I am not just talking about retirement. I'm not talking about retirement, I am talking about spending money on the things that bring you peace and help you fulfill bigger dreams and align with your values. Where is the money for those things? Where is it? Ok. My friends, check in with your beliefs. Check in with what you're thinking about money. Check in with how you does your spending align with your ultimate why? Check in with all and all those things. And when we come back next episode, I am going to talk to you about creating wealth. Identifying priorities. Giving every dollar a job, all sorts of amazing things. So who needs to listen to this if you can share this episode with just one person? Who's one person that needs to spend money on themselves in order to live a more peaceful, happier, more fulfilling life? Can you share this episode with that one person? I would be forever grateful. All right, my friends have a great week and I will see you next time. Thanks for listening to the Time to Level Up podcast with me, your host, Andrea Libros. If you know someone who could benefit from listening to this episode,

[00:22:36] I encourage you to take a screenshot and share it with them. Ok, now what about you? You've listened to the podcast, and if you now know that you're ready to upgrade your life, upgrade your business, upgrade, you then stop being only a listener and start being a liver living that upgraded life. Head over to my website and schedule a call right there on that call. We'll start changing the way you think and act so that you can have the freedom to achieve the impossible in life and business and have the resources to do it. You deserve an upgrade. Let's do it.