43: Kelly Kichler on Upgrading Your Life and Business

Andrea Liebross |

www.andrealiebross.com |

Episode 43

Speaker1: [00:00:09] You're listening to the Time to Level Up podcast. I'm your host, business life coach Andrea Libros. I help women in business commit to their own growth personally and professionally. Each week, I'll bring you strategies to help you think clearly gain confidence. Make your time productive. Turn every obstacle into an opportunity. And finally overcome the overwhelm so that you can make money and manage life. Let's create a plan so you have a profitable business, successful career. And best of all. Live with unapologetic ambition. Are you ready to drop the drama and figure out the how in order to reach your goals? You're in the right place. It's time to level up.

[00:00:57] Let's do this.

Speaker2: [00:01:05] Although time to level up listeners and welcome back to the podcast. So today I'm having a conversation with Kelly Kitchener But before we dove into that, I want you to think about giving yourself an upgrade both your business and your life. What would that look like? What would that feel like? In my conversation with Kelly, although we don't use this for an upgrade, I kind of walked away thinking, Wow, she has upgraded her life in so many ways as a result of coaching. She's going to share with you how she is way more productive and feels worthy of sitting at the table with the big guys. She feels empowered and is using her time in a whole different way. So sit back, buckle up and listen in to my conversation with Kelly. Hi. Time to level up, listeners. Welcome back to the podcast! So today I have the pleasure of talking to Kelly Kessler, who she and I have known each other for a couple of years. Probably I'm going to guess, OK, but over last the last 12 months or so, 18 months, I don't even know how long we have been working together, doing some coaching. And during that time, lots of things have changed for her. She is right now the vice president of regional development or a brokerage house here in the Indianapolis area, and I think I'm just going to let her introduce herself. How's that? Go for it. Oh my, it is. Thank you. Thank you for having me, Andrea.

Speaker2: [00:02:46] It's such an honor to be sitting here talking with you on your podcast. I mean, hello, it's me. Maybe I have arrived a little bit. You've leveled up. You've done of that. That's right. Yeah, so thank you. I'm excited. I love getting to talk with you and talk about motivation and success stories. But yes, I did. I just joined a couple of months ago Berkshire Hathaway Home Services in Indiana as their VP of regional development, which is a lot of focus on recruiting and attracting agents brokers. And it's also allowing me to help our leadership recruit in their offices as well. So I get to coach them, come alongside them and help them reach out to those agents. That would be a good fit for us. We want to grow. We're very passionate about growing, but we're very careful about it too. We want to have the right people in place. And it's not just a numbers game, so I'm really learning so much and being able to not only learn from people just within the state, but within global. We're all over the place and going to conventions and talking with other people around the country is just been enlightening and really is opened up my mind to a lot of great possibilities and perspectives. It's exciting when you kind of all of a sudden realize there's more out there, not that you didn't know that rationally, but when you start to see it and you start to feel it, it's it makes a difference.

Speaker2: [00:04:23] It makes it different because, you know, it's all out there. But then when you're actually immersed in it and being able to create relationships, because let's face it, it's all about creating relationships with your with your clients. Realtors are my clients, so building relationships with them, but also building relationships with other people around the country that are doing what I do and then vendors around the around the air in my work area to getting to do all that. That's fun. One of the best parts I think about my group coaching right now is that we have women in there that live all over the US, from San Diego to Seattle to Florida to Massachusetts. And it's it's interesting to hear what they're doing, which sometimes it's like, I'll give you an example, one of my clients said the other day, I have to get off. I have to take my child to surfing lessons. Ok, so I would never go surfing. So I would never say that because they don't. There's no surfing here. But that was kind of fun to think about that that's what she was doing. So anyway, that is, I know, is cool in their world, and we don't usually sign up for surfing classes here in the Annapolis market area. But we do not. It's all we do. Other things we do, other things. So, OK, so here's what I want. You kind of gave me a good segue into asking you a question.

Speaker2: [00:05:48] So when we started first working together, what do you think was going on like? What made you say, OK, I'm going to do this because a lot of people think about coaching or they even like, think about even when you're recruiting new agents like they think about switching. Brokerage houses, but they don't do it, so what do you think made you say yes, let's do this. Oh, I think the biggest thing that came to my mind was like, OK, I'm doing well, I'm doing OK, but I feel like I need to rely on some outside sources to help me, like you say, level up and grow and see things from a different perspective and kind of get outside of my own strengths through my abilities. I need to go and we all need to do that. We all need to seek out help and be humble about it, to be able to grow and know that I do have some opportunities to get better. It doesn't have to be all about me or my what I know who I know. But because a coach's perspective is so different, I forget how you say it. I'm in the jar. You're in the peanut butter jar. You're still going to be together and you can't read the label. I can't read the label. I'm in there and I'm cozy in there, but I need to get myself out of there and think about things in a different way.

Speaker2: [00:07:06] And you provided a perspective to me that I was oh, and just by being saying, You know what? I am worthy. I have all the worthiness in the world. Of course I can do bigger things. Of course I can open up and be confident in my abilities and take it to the next level. And I did. I had a great quarter. That quarter is my best quarter ever, but I was able to really sit and be focused and really feel like I'm equipped and I'm worthy of it all. I went back and I read what you wanted to achieve via coaching and you had said, be more focused, be more productive, make better use of my time and feel empowered. So what I find interesting about that is in order to have your best quarter ever, you had to be more focused, productive and make the best use of your time, right? Isn't that it's sort of like the the best quarter ever was. The were the byproducts of putting energy towards how to use your time, how to figure out, I think, not how to focus, but how to like, I remember you us having conversations like, what are you going to focus on? Because there's so many options. And I remember discussing like, Well, what? What is it? What's the thing that we're going to focus on? And once you kind of decided that? And put your pedal to the metal, right, things happen and commit to it.

Speaker2: [00:08:24] I had to really commit to it. No, if I'm in the middle of doing this right now, this is what I'm focusing on. I can't go and answer that email or I choose all my notes notifications off. I'm not looking at email. I'm not looking at Facebook. I'm not answering the text. This is what I'm doing right now, and I can look at that text in two hours or I can look at that whatever. It's like, well, in two hours. Not right now. I need to really commit on what I'm doing right now and not veer from it. And that could be even from fixing dinner. I'm going to commit to fixing dinner right now or put the phone in the other room when I'm with my family. It can wait. It's really cool that you helped me with that a lot because I'm like, Oh, somebody is texting me now. Now the text will still be there, it'll still be there, and it'll be fine to answer that text later, but right now I'm going to hone in and focus on the people around me. I think that's it's easier said than done, and it is a skill, right? You get to practice it. You've got to practice it. I still struggle with it. This morning, I was looking at my phone and I truly needed to answer some text this morning because right from the get go and Colin came in and started talking.

Speaker2: [00:09:37] Hold on, I want to talk with you, but I have got to answer this. He was like, Oh, OK. And he got it. I was doing my thing. And so him and I had had a conversation about that. Mike, I will get with you, but let me just do this really fast, and then the phone will go away and I knew where to find him. Yeah, yeah. Because these kids, man, they need us. They do need us, they need their mothers. They don't realize that, but they do know it no matter what age they are. So, OK, so this is another sort of interesting thing because I also went back and what was getting in the way of you achieving kind of this goal, which is actually kind of interesting, too, because I don't think we really have like a you weren't saying I you always want to have your best quarter ever, right? Like, who doesn't want it? But I think what was getting in the way of achieving growth on your own right now, there's the very like how to focus, how to use time, but that feeling that worthiness, right? We had this we had lots of discussions about worthiness ones. I think have tried a couple of times to tell them that I didn't cry, but like, OK, but I mean, you did. What do you think? Why? Like, what was what? All of a sudden, what light bulbs went off? Do you think it was a lot of light bulbs like I have like, Oh my gosh, yes, I was talking silly.

Speaker2: [00:11:04] Like, I of course I deserve all this. Of course I deserve the best quarter ever. Of course I do. There's no question about it at all, ever. And when you said we were born one hundred percent worthy, I wrote, I think I've written that down like how you used to write in school. I will not talk and I will not. I have written that down. I am one hundred percent worthy. Period. That's it. Yeah. You don't have to do anything in order to be 100 percent. So I think that's the thing people think once I achieve X, then I'll be worthy of whatever. And sometimes it's worthy of recognition. But I think even more, it's worthy of being the best that you can be or like getting to that top level, right? We we create limits for ourselves and we can also be very in the day and just going through the motions every day and not think, OK, what can I be doing better today? And that's something that you do. What could you be doing better to get you? Which because we can be this connected to, there's a word I'm trying to say. I don't know what it is, but can I get comfortable doing what we know? And then you are familiar if you did this or what if this happened? What would that look like? And so you just open that whole? Big picture up that I wasn't looking at or thinking about.

Speaker2: [00:12:28] No, it's interesting, I think too, we get in our own way in the sense that we view ourselves a certain way and this happens both you view yourself a certain way within your family dynamic or extended family dynamic and also within your work dynamic. But you kind of like, think you're in this little box? And it's really hard to kind of rise up right to like the next version of yourself when you put yourself in that kind of box? Yes. It's uncomfortable. Getting out of that box is uncomfortable, feeling like, OK, this is cozy in here, but there's so many quotes about nothing. Magic happens in your comfort zone or nothing. No growth happens whatever it may be in your successes. On the other side of fear, everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. Yes, go, go, go around that fear or to advocate or whatever it is. It's true. There's without me cheesy, but they're really true. They are true. My daughter just told me last night she has to pick a mantra for the year for English class. We were going through Pinterest trying to find a mantra, but it was kind of interesting reading them out loud like, Ooh, that's a good one. So anyway, I digress. So let's think about this. So you. One of the things that you and I talked about a lot was having a seat at the table.

Speaker2: [00:13:46] That was one of our key phrases, right? You having a seat at the table and you have a seat at the table now? How did that all come about? What did you have to be thinking in order to because you had to create a lot of change in order to make that happen? So what was what was that like? Yeah, it was. That too is one of those things that in my worthy, that seat at the table and just I think I opened myself up to possibilities and had some different conversations with different people, just maybe in the industry. And obviously had a conversation with Craig, West of Berkshire and something that I knew that they were evolving and they were bringing on new leaders and the leaders that are there. I just had just mad respect for I've always admired them, and when I was invited to come, I was like, Wow, I'm I'm here and I get to be with these people that have been have very strong personalities, strong, very reputable, and I get to come alongside them and they're asking for my input now, and that's refreshing. It's a whole different level of feeling valuable, and it's just it's just different. It's a different, different organization. It's differently. All those things and I was able just to connect with others and being able to connect with other ladies and gentlemen around the state and helping them coming alongside them and help them recruit and just share the Berkshire story and share the experience and attract those agents that can can succeed.

Speaker2: [00:15:27] It's not just sometimes the word recruiting sometimes has a negative to it, like I'm going to pound people or be creepy. And I always say, I'm not a creepy person. I just want to get to know you and see if we have what you need. That's what it's about. How can we serve you? Not just you serve us, right? Yes. And that's I think I focus on it, the seat at the table. I think what was going on is that you really wanted to be involved in decision making and you wanted to be able to share your insight and opinion and in your previous role. While you could share your insight and opinion, it wasn't as if you couldn't. It just wasn't an open invitation. Kind of to do that, you had to really dig hard in order to have a say. You even have a voice because it wasn't like you didn't have a voice, but a strong voice. It was just a very different, different structure. And obviously, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't if it wasn't for that experience at all. It's a great it was a different setup with a different set set up and right. I am so grateful and thankful for that opportunity. Yeah, it was just a different setup. It's it's a different structure at Berkshire. Totally, completely different. You had your eyes like, I think that's the other thing.

Speaker2: [00:16:45] When things pass us by, sometimes we're just not ready for it. We're just like, like, Oh, I can't do that. Why would they want me or whatever is not for me? But then we start to think, Well, maybe we could. Maybe I could do that. Why can't I do that? Why? For that? Yeah, what that conversations with people that I talk to, you know, when I first put it out there like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm fine. But then once they start thinking about, Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, maybe what if? And so it takes time and it takes time. I'm very aware of it and empathetic really to it now because I get it's a timing thing we've got to be careful on. Well, yeah, I see that you would be a great fit here, but if it's not time yet, it's not time yet. Let's take some get to know each other better and be patient with that. It's a good I think you and I had kind of gone through these questions. I remember asking you, like, what's working for you right now? What's not working and what would you do differently next time? And when you start to assess, like, hey, there are lots of things that are really good. So there are lots of things that are working, but some things aren't working, and maybe I'd want to do something different. That's when you start to open up possibilities, right? And even entertain it, and it starts to creep in.

Speaker2: [00:17:58] And then when the time is right, you can create the change. But yeah, yeah, yeah. So be forced for sure. No, it can't be forced. So I think through coaching, your brain started to expand and think bigger. Right. But not right to think bigger. Think. Possible, I think that's where just keeps coming back to me possible, what's possible like that? Yeah. Tell me how. Some of your own coaching that you've received has helped make you I'm going to guess, a better coach in the sense of you being able to, as you is, your thinking has changed in your mindset has changed. Does it become easier to talk about these things with other people? Yes, it's really comes down to paying attention. If they see something, I'm going to write a book and it's going to be called pay attention. Oh, I like that. I like that. You do your first the title. You heard it first. The title. Anybody else take it? Nobody else can take it. But they're just paying attention and they say something because, you know, you could. I could talk all day long about all of the things that Berkshire has to offer, but if it's not relevant to them, I'm not going to keep talking about it. I'm going to ask those questions and say, OK, well, this this and this is what we do. What would that look like for you in your business? Or how could you grow your team? Or how could you structure this or that? What would that look like for you at Berkshire or wherever you may go? Whether it's Berkshire, I can be very objective and not the girl, the pressure people and enjoying.

Speaker2: [00:19:39] It's not about that. It's like, what are you thinking, how can I help you? How can I come alongside you and help you and be objective with your decision making, whether it's Berkshire or wherever else it may be? And I will be a cheerleader from afar if I need to be. So as soon as you start to ask yourself some of these questions, then it becomes easier to listen and ask other people some of these questions. Yes, I've noticed that right. You're like, Oh yeah, is really, really interesting because you never know where they're at, what they're doing, what they're seeing, how they're feeling, and you if you're paying attention, you can help them totally can. But you have to have put yourself first, right? It's kind of like, put your own oxygen mask on first. So you're putting your own oxygen mask on, I think was really what was happening. Ok, what do you think? If I said to you, what were some tangible, specific results of coaching? What do you think you say to that? Oh, I'm being very careful with my time protecting it and not seeing it as to everything really thinking, OK, is this really this whatever event or whatever it may be that I was invited to? Is that really going to help me? Or is it the best use of my time and really committing to the calendar and thinking, Nope, I'm going to do this and this that during the hour, if I can't rearrange it because there's times and yeah, I do want to like that is worth my time.

Speaker2: [00:21:00] So I'll maybe rearrange some things to be able to attend this, whatever it may be. But really being almost protective of my calendar and realizing, no, I can't decline it if need be and be OK with not joining because I loved doing the right. But I wonder, you are doing it. You're you're saying I have joined those activities and through it, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I shouldn't be here. I should be doing this, this and this. And then something else. When I do commit to joining something as we all in, we all in there be very much present with the people around me right then and there and putting the phone away and not texting or doing anything while. I'm at that event or at that gathering or whatever it is, I said yes to, it is really being president, committed, committed. I like that. I just like that couple of times. But you committed to yourself, you committed to yourself, and then it makes it easier to commit to other people. If you think about that.

Speaker2: [00:22:05] So that was right. Biggest or biggest, daily, tangible kind of thing. Yeah, we embrace and do it. And then overall, if you had to say, like philosophically, do you look at things differently? Yes. And I notice things too. I notice when people are not structured or not as committed because I keep saying to their calendar and I coach people on doing that. Is that really the best use of your time? If it is, do it absolutely do it all day long. But if it's not, you can say no and be OK. Maybe you'll join them next time or whatever it may be, it's OK if you need to spend two hours during an afternoon to do follow up because you've had all these appointments, make sure you're following up because that's something that's very important to be successful in continuing conversations. We talked about that. I remember you being like having all these conversations, but I need to follow up. How do we make time? Yeah, yeah. And remember what you talked about because you're going to if you're meeting with a bunch of different people or like you, you have so many people that you talk with. You've got to remember their stories and remember what's important to them because things can happen between that time and the next time you talk with them that it's going to muddy the waters in the real. Oh yes. What was there? Yes or no? Sorry. I loved having knowing your story and you sharing it with us today.

Speaker2: [00:23:32] So I thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I hope other people as you're listening. Let's see. Can you see yourself in parts of Kelly like, I think we all can see ourselves in parts of other people? And one of my new favorite expressions was I just learned, but I guess it's been around. There's a new radio station, w.i FM. What's in it for me? So what's in this conversation for me? Do you like that? Can you take away what you take away from it, right? I love it. I love that. Do any final tidbits or things people should be thinking about being present and paying attention to the people around you and loving on them. This world can be really dark sometimes. So getting out there and being a light in the world, making eye contact, looking at really looking at people when you are around them, not in the creepy way, but nice way that you're I'm going to say that. Don't be crazy about it. Don't be silly. This is a little acts of kindness opening silly, but opening a door saying to the cashier, Oh, you look pretty today or just anything just to make their day. So if anyone's listening, you're all listening. But go. Follow Kelly on social media because she puts some good stuff out there. Some very good, inspirational types of things that make me pause and think. So I appreciate you. I appreciate you so much.

Speaker2: [00:24:55] Being on this podcast with you is amazing, and I'm humbled by it. Well, thank you for being here and listeners check out the show notes, find Kelly's links and really think about how if you wanted to have your best quarter ever, what would have to change but would have to change. And I think sometimes we don't even know what has to change until it starts changing and we start seeing the fruits of our labor or the results. And along with that comes a feeling of being empowered. So thank you so much. Absolutely. Thank you. So what did you think about that? What did you think about that? So Kelly did upgrade her life instead of staying stagnant instead of contracting or pulling back. She really did push and move forward. She no longer was just satisfied with the with the status quo. She made change, and it really showed in both her work in being a top producer, but also in how she thought of herself and how she attacked each day. So if you're ready to give yourself an upgrade to equip yourself with the tools you need to do so, I encourage you to reach out and schedule a call because even in that call, as my client, Hannah says, you will get your money's worth and that call is in fact free. So why not? Why not? Ok, my friends, until next week. Remember, there's always time and there never is a better time to up your game. Give yourself an upgrade and level up. See you next week.

Speaker1: [00:26:45] Thanks for tuning in to today's show. If you're ready to commit to personal and professional growth, move forward, make money and manage life. Head to Andrea Librescu. That's Andrea Jli B are asked to find out about the ways we can work together until next time go level up.