170: How to Find the Time to Focus on Yourself, Your Goals, and Your Lifestyle Design with Stacie Simpson

Andrea Liebross: Hello, my friends, and welcome back to

Andrea Liebross: the Time to Level up podcast. How are you today? What are you using your time today to do? Do you like what you're doing? Do you not like what you're doing? Is today one of those days where it's really devoted to work, or it's really devoted to personal stuff, or it's really devoted to family, or is there kind of equal amounts of time being spent on all of those things? And is this really how you want your day or your life to go? These are all great questions, and I think a lot of times I question this myself, especially on weekends. So I try not to do tons of work on weekends. But honestly, sometimes it's the time I have the easiest blocks of time I have to do things like prep for podcasts, for example, which require full attention and to me, longer blocks of time. But then I sometimes think, "Oh, I should be spending more time with Rob, or I should be visiting more with friends," or I don't know all the things. But today what I want to do is I want to bring you the second part of session two from She Thinks Big Live. We talked about a life plan in session two, and where we're going to start in this podcast episode is when Stacie Simpson, who is on my team and she is a time and focus expert, she came up and Nicole Pence Becker, and she and me a little bit had a conversation about what she sees when working with clients and how she thinks about time and focus.

Andrea Liebross: And then we are going to hear kind of from what the audience members had to say and you're going to get to hear what was in the last half of that session, what came out of my mouth as I started to share how I think about things and the four parts of you and the personal part, the work part, the family part, the travel part, and how those all fit together to create what you want and need and ultimately, hopefully help you be the person you want to be. So enough for me. Let's listen in. You're going to hear words like roller coaster, villain, pendulum, integrating, winning at work, and winning at home. You're going to hear examples of adventure, science experiments. So be on the lookout for all those words. Sit back, buckle up, and listen in to part two of session two from She Thinks Big Live with Stacie Simpson.

Andrea Liebross: Yeah, but welcome, Stacie.

Nicole Pence Becker: Let's welcome Stacie.

Stacie Simpson: Thank you.

Nicole Pence Becker: Stacie, come on over here. Andrea, you want to sit on the blue couch with us this time?

Andrea Liebross: Sure. I can sit on the blue couch.

Nicole Pence Becker: You wanted the blue couch.

Andrea Liebross: I did.

Andrea Liebross: I did want the blue couch.

Andrea Liebross: I felt like it fit the vibe.

Nicole Pence Becker: It does fit the vibe and it makes it homey. So, Stacie, first introduce yourself to everybody, and again, as part of Andrea's team, so talk us through exactly what that means and your personal experience and expertise.

Stacie Simpson: Yeah. Thank you.

Stacie Simpson: So I have my own consulting business, Stacie Simpson Consulting, and I coach and train others. And then I'm also a part of Andrea's team, and I coach and work with her clients on specifically implementing what's called a Full Focus system in their business and in their lives and kind of breaking down those concepts and applying them to whatever their specific goals are.

Nicole Pence Becker: How do you define Full Focus system?

Stacie Simpson: Yeah.

Stacie Simpson: So the Full Focus system is all about what we call the double win. So that's winning at work and succeeding at life. So it's that and thing and all about that work-life integration and seeing yourself as one person who has these goals and aspirations and dreams and things that you want to achieve. Then it breaks it down from kind of this high level that we've been talking about into the really specific action steps that you're going to take each day. But there are all these layers in between. So it's kind of the formula to get you to what is the specific action I need to take today that's going to be that first step forward toward that higher belief or dream or goal that you're working for.

Nicole Pence Becker: So it's like climbing a staircase.

Stacie Simpson: Absolutely.

Nicole Pence Becker: So here you are at the bottom of the staircase, but, you know you're trying to get up here. And I think I'm a very visual person, so it's like, if I can see something like that kind of laid out, it helps me go over it. But I think what makes this unique is that there are goals that you have as a business owner, as an individual practitioner, but they have to, this is where we say they have to be practically aligned with where you're at. So talk us through that, because I think that's a really good- the whole phrase of the work-life balance, it is a buzz phrase. It is especially aligned and actually probably in a sexist way, only aligned with women.

Nicole Pence Becker: Right.

Nicole Pence Becker: That they are always looking to achieve a work-life balance. What do you think of that phrase? Let's just start with that.

Stacie Simpson: Yeah.

Stacie Simpson: Oh, man.

Stacie Simpson: Okay.

Stacie Simpson: So I have, like, a love hate relationship.

Nicole Pence Becker: I bet you do.

Stacie Simpson: Because I think where we can get stuck is trying to think that we're trying to get to this place where everything is equal all the time. Like, I'm spending 50% of my time on my personal life and 50% of my time on my work life, and let's get to this perfect spot where you're picturing that scale being balanced. And I hate that. I like to think of it more like maybe a pendulum that is swinging back and forth, and maybe one day you're more in business and one day you're more in personal or even throughout the day, it's like you're- I hate to call it a roller coaster, but almost like, right, you're doing the one thing and then the other thing and then the other thing, and you kind of come out good at the end. But I really love the concept of work-life integration instead of work-life balance.

Andrea Liebross: Did you guys hear that?

Stacie Simpson: Yes.

Stacie Simpson: Work-life integration. Because when you're thinking about balance, you're thinking about it's two or more things that are fighting against each other for your resources, for your time, for your energy. But when we think about work-life integration, we realize that it can all be kind of melded together. And as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, your work is your life, an important part of your life. And if you're doing work that you're passionate about, that brings you joy, that is deeply personal. And so there doesn't have to be a divider between work and personal, necessarily. We talk about boundaries, and I think it can be a slippery slope to talk about boundaries, too, because the world tells us, set these boundaries.

Stacie Simpson: When you're done with work at 5:00, you should be done with work at 5:00 but really, is that true for me, for my family, for my life, or does it look different for me? And so creating where it's all interwoven, sort of.

Nicole Pence Becker: Andrea, what do you want to add on that?

Andrea Liebross: I think that is a really good point, that 5:00, whatever that mentality is that you're going to shut down, I don't know about any of you, but I do have a pause there in the middle or around that 5:00 time, but I am guilty of checking my email at nine at night or doing whatever, and that's okay. I'm okay with that right now. Maybe there were times in my life when I wasn't going to be okay, but right now, that integrates into what I'm doing and who I am, and what's happening. So I like the integration.

Andrea Liebross: Yeah.

Nicole Pence Becker: So talk about, and I have to give, when it's appropriate, an example of the pendulum swinging. Maybe, I guess it's now, but in the last year, I think what's interesting to me is I always used to try to go cheat the work-life balance. Like, I was very much bought in that vernacular. Hence, one of the reasons I left television, because I was like, "It's impossible." You'd have to be at the television station at 3:30 in the morning, and I have to anchor my TV show and I couldn't leave until after I anchored the noon. No flex. I mean, just a no-flex situation. So that was part of it.

Nicole Pence Becker: So I left because I had a small daycare at home and also because I needed to find more work-life balance. I hadn't really thought about that kind of mentality for a while until last year when the pendulum swung without my control. So one of my sons was recently diagnosed with type one diabetes. And when you have an emergency like that and your whole world gets shut down, I was at the hospital, I was in and out of doctor's appointments, he couldn't go to school unless we were there with him, the pendulum, as you mentioned, just went boom.

Nicole Pence Becker: And I was like, "Alright, guess my business will figure it out." The best part of it is it did. The right people were in the right place to do the right things, and thankfully, we have awesome clients who understood. But I think it's kind of interesting because you're not forced to really understand that concept until it pushes you in one direction or the other often with an emergency.

Stacie Simpson: Yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Pence Becker: So I had to share that because I think the pendulum part, how does it swing for people? Is it always an emergency? Is it during growth? What makes that pendulum swing?

Stacie Simpson: Yeah.

Stacie Simpson: And it can be so many different things. So sometimes, yes, life forces us in a direction, right? And then you're responding to those forces and staying true to yourself and to your goals. But you have to do what you have to do, right? As a mom, as a wife, as a community member, there are times where we have to go with the flow, and then life comes back to that sort of equilibrium. But sometimes we have to push ourselves. If we find that we're in a stagnant place or we're feeling frustrated with our results, then we have to create, not create emergencies, we don't want to be doing that, but creating the urgency side of that. And it can be scary to think, especially of the unknown, of what's coming

Stacie Simpson: if I take this step in this direction or toward this goal or toward this vision, not knowing what that outcome might be. I think the way to embrace that, and you did, is this sense of, in the book, Andrea mentions approaching life with a sense of adventure, and I'm not a very adventurous person, and that's not a limiting belief, it's just like, I know this about, it's okay, but I am someone who likes to experiment, so I am like a little bit of a science nerd. So, like, whale people, you're my people, right? So you go into chemistry class in high school, and your teacher is saying, "Okay, mix these things together in your little thing," right? I don't know what's going to happen, and that makes me a little bit nervous, but something happens, and we learn from it.

Stacie Simpson: And so whether you're looking at your life as an adventure or as an experiment or whatever, you're having movement, though, you're taking a step, and then you're evaluating, "How did that feel? What results did it produce for me? And do I want to do-"

Nicole Pence Becker: What was positive? What could be worked upon?

Stacie Simpson: Yes.

Stacie Simpson: And then do I want to keep moving in that direction, or is it time to shift this way? And then you're constantly doing that one step at a time and choosing your path.

Nicole Pence Becker: So talk to the people in the room who gratefully haven't had a crazy pendulum swing because of an emergency or something, but also just haven't really, like you said, they're like, right here. You know what I mean? To the point back from the practicality of it, maybe they just want to be here. Maybe life just wants them here in that moment. But how can you also help them evaluate that? Do you really want to be here? Or should you try to have the pendulum swing? And because that way you can determine if where you're at is where you should be. How do you even start that conversation?

Stacie Simpson: Yeah, I mean, that's what we've been talking about this morning is looking at those beliefs, thinking about those big dreams, and then start to break that down into where do I go from here to make that practical, to figure out what that first step is?

Andrea Liebross: I think a lot of times we have in our heads like, "This is how this should look. This is what I should be doing at this certain time in this certain place. This is just how it is." That whole business season of life. There is some truth to that, but I'm always one that's questioning it. Does it have to look like that? And it goes both ways. You could say with kids, for example, "I need to be home at 3:00 when they get home." Okay.

Andrea Liebross: Someone needs to be there. Does it have to be you exactly at 3:00? What if they were there with a sitter for one hour? What would happen? What's the worst thing that could happen? The answer is nothing. Nothing will happen. They will have their snack. So there's that. But then there's also, "What if I don't want to engage with more than 20 clients in a year? Who says I need to have 25? Maybe I don't want that."

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: So, actually, I was on a coaching call last week, and I pointed out to someone that they already were successful. They already were successful. So they could totally just stay where they wanted, where they are, totally fine. It's a choice if you want to kind of push yourself a little further. So it is sort of that constantly asking yourself, not questioning in a negative way, but do I like this? Does this feel good? Could it look different? What would be possible if it was a little different?

Stacie Simpson: I love the idea of reflecting on, "How does this thing make me feel? Whatever the outcome of the thing was, how am I feeling about that?" And maybe you get to the place where in your business, you're good. You're like, "Wow, I really achieved the thing I set out to achieve. Everything feels good. I have the right number of clients. This is the dream." If you're there, congratulations. But you feel like everything is good, then you get to ask yourself, "Okay, well, what would make my life even better?"

Andrea Liebross: What would make it more fun?

Stacie Simpson: Yes.

Stacie Simpson: And it's not about necessarily achieving, but it's about creating the life that you want, then at that point. So there's an area of life that you can say, "I feel good about this, I don't feel like I need to really be grabbing for the next rung up the ladder in this area of life."

Stacie Simpson: That's fantastic.

Stacie Simpson: That means you can shift some of your energy toward a different area of life that you want to set some big goals in.

Nicole Pence Becker: Right.

Nicole Pence Becker: So your goals can be literal. Like, "I would like to have the drapery agency that's across the world," et cetera, et cetera. Or they can be more kind of abstract in a way that's motivating. You guys set me up for this page in this book that, Andrea,

Nicole Pence Becker: I got all into it.

Nicole Pence Becker: that is perfect, because I thought this could maybe have a play in this conversation, but I wasn't sure. But you guys just teed it up nicely, so thank you. So there's the woman named Brittany, who is very aggressively pursuing lots of different things at the same time. But the question about "What do you want? What do you want to do next after teaching, for example," she just couldn't get to an actual literal response. So you said, Andrea, why don't you read this? This top paragraph.

Andrea Liebross: Alright. Where am I reading?

Nicole Pence Becker: So, this one really hit me.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: What am reading? This one really hit me. I want to leave a legacy. I don't want to die before I achieve any of the things I mentioned before. And my fear is that I'll run out of time. Life is too short to get everything you want. But something is holding me back from trying, with all-out effort to go for it, to go after my dreams. So this happened on a consult call. I was like, "What do you want? What do you want?" And then we had to keep working at it for months, for weeks and weeks.

Andrea Liebross: And finally she just said, "I want to leave a legacy, but I feel like I'm running out of time." So for her to come to that place was hard. It was hard. But I think once she did, she gave herself permission to go after it.

Nicole Pence Becker: But why is time always evaluated as the problem? So that's what goes into this. We're talking about this life plan. We're talking about how you can be practical in creating it. And here this woman says, "I want to leave a legacy."

Nicole Pence Becker: It's like, "Heck, yeah, that's so cool."

Nicole Pence Becker: But then she's like, "But I'm running out of time." Time is always the villain.

Andrea Liebross: She's like 40, by the way, so she wasn't really running out of time.

Nicole Pence Becker: So talk to us about time, Stacie, because you're an expert in this.

Stacie Simpson: Yeah, absolutely. So, first is making sure that the goals that you have for yourself are fully integrated of work and life. Because one of the pitfalls that we see is that we make a list of goals and things that we want to achieve for work and then we make a separate list of goals and things that we want to achieve for life. And that ends up being the work of two people, because it's two different lists, but we're one person, so we need to look, again that work-life integration, look at that together, and then decide what the highest goals are. And if you can figure out how to put the and in them, like we did for Joanne earlier, then it's even better.

Stacie Simpson: Right.

Stacie Simpson: You're doing the kill-two-birds-with-one-stone kind of thing. When that integration is there, it's going to feel like you've doubled your time or cut your work in half, because you've got that overlap where the actions that you're taking are helping you in multiple areas of life. So that's definitely one. Then figuring out again what your action plan is from there to achieve those things, because the reality is

Stacie Simpson: you can have all the things that you want. You can't necessarily do everything related to all those things you want. And that's where having a team, delegating to the people on your team or the people in your life, eliminating the things that don't need to be done at all, which we're all guilty of this. Even I, as an expert in this, constantly I'm realizing, "Wait a second, why am I even doing this thing? It doesn't even need to be done." Or someone else could be doing it. Or technology and AI and all the things are moving so fast, if a computer can do it for me, why wouldn't I let it? That obviously doesn't apply to all the creatives in the room. The things that you do are amazing.

Nicole Pence Becker: Well, it can.

Nicole Pence Becker: Invoicing and everything.

Stacie Simpson: Exactly. It's the tedium.

Nicole Pence Becker: I have this problem Caitlin just pointed at me. I have got to figure out how to automate more of my business, and it's scary.

Nicole Pence Becker: You know that you got to let it go

Nicole Pence Becker: and you know you need to, but you're also like, "I know."

Stacie Simpson: But then you're like, "But do I need to be the one who sends the invoice?" Maybe this is like, I love you, because you always have the caveat of maybe, right? Like, if you're working on your relationship with money and so sending that invoice and receiving the notification back that it was paid, if that is helping you work through your relationship with money and showing that your value translates in your business, cool, then yes, that is a thing you should do. But if you don't have feelings tied to it or you don't want to have feelings tied to it, then technology can do that for you, or someone can do that for you who feels that that work does bring them value. So it's about making decisions, and you can have whatever you want to have, you can achieve whatever you want to have, but you cannot do necessarily all of the steps to get there. You need a team. You need to use your resources, and time is one of your resources. So when you start shifting from time being the bad guy in the movie to time being a resource that you can harness and use, and time is going to help you achieve your goal—he's a good guy in the Marvel movie, right? He's your sidekick in the Marvel movie—then you start using some of these tools that are available to you through coaching, through the Full Focus system, through whatever system you use.

Stacie Simpson: You start using these tools to evaluate how you're currently using your time, and then look at which of those things are in my zone of, what's the term that you used?

Andrea Liebross: Zone of genius?

Stacie Simpson: Yes, in the zone of genius or whatever other term you insert there. I like to think about magic, in my magical zone, that you spend more time on those things then, and you figure out how to eliminate, delegate, or have it stack your other things.

Nicole Pence Becker: So I have to give an example here. We do a lot of public affairs, obviously, having been in television news, one of the things that we do at our firm a lot of is PR. So we get people's messages and stories, Forbes and all the big places, and of course, locally, et cetera, et cetera. And I always say this to our clients, and I think some of them in this room have actually heard me say this a lot. My father says it, time is a manageable variable. When you stop thinking about it like the bad guy and you start thinking about it like you control it, then you are able to kind of understand when to do something. So I use the example of PR at the top, because with public relations, time is a manageable variable, and you have to strike at the right time. If you would send a press release for your book and it would be timed with a natural disaster that was ongoing, the reporters and anchors would delete it.

Nicole Pence Becker: So time truly is a manageable variable generally. But then in certain tactics, it's even more a manageable variable. Now with newborns, no, but you got to stick to the 7, 10, 1, 4, 7. But I'm totally tracking what you're talking about right now, and I love it.

Stacie Simpson: Yeah.

Stacie Simpson: And you have the opportunity to look at your own life and your own time from this lens. Again, it's sort of that experimentation lens. When you take the time to go through a time tracking study, if you track for a week or two weeks exactly how you're spending your time on a piece, you can use like any piece of paper.

Nicole Pence Becker: Wait. How do you do that? Literally? Like a time tracking study?

Stacie Simpson: Yeah.

Stacie Simpson: So you get a blank piece of paper, it can be totally blank, and you just carry it around with you in your pocket or at your desk or wherever you're working and just write down what you're doing. What's amazing is when I was first working for myself, self-employed, I did this, and I realized, "That's weird. We don't work eight hours a day." You're in this mindset as an employee, if you have this experience of being an employee, that a workday is eight hours. But when you start just working, you realize even those people that are working eight hours aren't working eight hours. Like, they spend a lot of time just talking with their colleagues, which is, again, in some cases, is good, but looking at how am I spending my time? What am I spending it on? How much am I spending on these different categories of things? Then you start categorizing, and which of those things are in your zone of genius, and is the experience and the product that you want to be putting out into the world? How much of it is kind of like that admin stuff that we talked about, like sending invoices, all of that, how much of it is wasted time, which actually could be turned into useful time?

Stacie Simpson: We call that found time. When you realize you're wasting time, that's actually time that you've now found and you can grab it out of the lost and found and start using it, and looking at how you can put those things together to either harness your own momentum or split them up to give you more variety in your days and in your week. So what you do for the first like, maybe it's even just a day, if the whole thing feels overwhelming, maybe you just do it for a day, you keep track, and then you take this position of "Isn't that interesting?" And pull out all the things that are interesting about what you notice with no judgment. You don't have to identify first like where the waste of time is. The first thing is,

Stacie Simpson: Hmm.

Stacie Simpson: Isn't that interesting? And then start looking at what of that valuable resource of time could be used differently and take the baby steps together.

Nicole Pence Becker: I gotta time track.

Andrea Liebross: It might be interesting.

Nicole Pence Becker: It will be very interesting. Yes. Andrea, as you think about Stacie's inclusion on your team and kind of this Full Focus approach, talk, again, apply it, how have you seen it be so successful for people that you get to work with?

Andrea Liebross: I think it can be life-changing. It can really be life-changing because no matter whether I'm working with someone who has five kids or no kids or their business is in the 20th year or first two months, everybody brings up time. Everybody brings it up, "I don't have enough time," and then they go into the, "There's always a guilt factor going on related to something." And over a couple of years of working with people, I realized how important getting a handle on this was. A lot of it too really just have the "Isn't this interesting?" kind of perspective.

Andrea Liebross: That's why I decided to bring Stacie on and to make this an integral part of coaching. Also, I think it's fun that it's kind of got its own place in my coaching programs. It's something that you can tap into when you want to, when you're ready for it, when you're ready to explore, because sometimes you're just not even ready to explore it. So it's important because it eliminates a lot of, quiets the questions that you're asking yourself if I'm using my time in the best of ways. So it took me a couple of years to figure that out, but I figured it out and that's why we're here, where we are.

Stacie Simpson: And if I can add, it gives structure to the things that we're talking about, the Full Focus system and kind of the place that has in your coaching programs, it gives structure to these big ideas. So you really pull out of people and help us think big and see our life's vision and see where we want to go, and then your brain starts yelling at you, "How do I get there? How do I get there?" And this Full Focus system gives you structure and steps for breaking that down. But again, it's not you or me answering what is that next step? It draws it out of you for whatever goal you're going towards.

Nicole Pence Becker: Now I'm going to hit you both back with kind of like an "uhoh" question because I was like, "Okay," so here you are making sure that there is an investment piece in kind of the observation of where you're at in your life and what happens then when I say investment is time. So, Kate, you were sitting there thinking that through, and you're like, "I got to have a minute more to think it through." You have to also prioritize it, talk about how you can actually get people to do that. Because I think one of the things I've had conversations with women along the way is they're always like, "Yeah, I'd love to sit down and think strategically, but I just can't get myself there, or I just can't make it happen," or they don't believe time is a manageable variable and every piece of time is already claimed for them. There's nothing left to be found, right? So I think the question is just like the practicality of just taking the first leap to going in to even assessing what are you doing or not doing.

Andrea Liebross: I think you have to create opportunities for yourself to do that. So I know, for example, if something's on my calendar that involves another person, I'm not going to blow it off, okay? I'm going to show up. If it involves just me, myself, and I sitting down, I'm getting better at it, it's a work in progress, but I'm more likely to "Ehh, later."

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: Like something suddenly came up or it's a great time to empty the dishwasher. So I think you have to create the opportunity for what I call these strategic causes. So coaching holds space, it holds time for you. And sometimes that's all someone needs. They just need an excuse to pause.

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: Look, there's so many times I'll get on a coaching call and someone says, "I have a packed day, but I'm glad I'm here because this is really what I need. I just need to pause, chill, reflect, think forward, think backward, whatever it is." And if they didn't have that on their calendar, it wasn't going to happen. So number one is you have to create the opportunities and then you have to give yourself permission to "show up," and I'm putting that in air quotes, to show up for yourself. Like, you're not showing up for me, you're showing up for you. Or if you do, I have gotten pretty good at kind of honoring my own calendar, even appointments with myself, I'm showing up for myself.

Andrea Liebross: So it's a create the opportunity, honor the opportunity, give yourself permission to be there.

Stacie Simpson: You took the same angle, I would have said, but let me take it and translate it to the super, super tangible. So I think what you're saying about scheduling time with yourself, actually, physically schedule time with yourself, meaning put it on your calendar. If you use a Google calendar, hopefully, you use a Google calendar or something virtual, but put it on there. That way, if your assistant or your team is looking at your calendar, they know you're not available during that time. You're in a meeting and they're not going to interrupt you. So what Andrea is saying about when you set a meeting with someone else, you show up to it, right? Because you value their time and you want to be seen as someone who's reliable. So when you put a meeting with yourself on your calendar, are you not also, your time is valuable and you want to be reliable for yourself, right? So physically putting it on your calendar and blocking that time, that also allows when someone else comes to you, even if it's a client or someone on your team, and says, "Hey, can I just have a little bit of your time this afternoon?" You have tricked your own system into allowing yourself to say, in case you're not there yet, kind of confidence-wise, allowing yourself to say, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm already booked this afternoon." They don't need to know that you're booked with yourself.

Stacie Simpson: Right. That's important time to you.

Nicole Pence Becker: I have a meeting with myself.

Stacie Simpson: Exactly. They don't need to know that part. It's a little weird when you're having like staff meetings all alone, but you have the ability to say, in truth, this is something I know about myself. I can't lie to people. I know that. So when I have it blocked on my calendar, yes.

When I have it blocked on my calendar, I can really, in full truth and confidence say, "I'm so sorry, I'm already booked. Could we schedule for next week instead?" So actually putting it on your calendar is like the biggest thing.

Andrea Liebross: Who finds this hard? Saying no to someone or, yeah, right. Yes, it's super hard. But if you start to get into the practice of it, it's very empowering.

Stacie Simpson: One other super tangible tip. If you are still finding that difficult to set time for yourself on your calendar, find an accountability partner. It could be someone in this room or someone else that you work with to schedule time with. I do this with some of my friends that I work with. We don't even work together during that time. We just get on Zoom and we're on mute and we each work on our own thing, but we both show up because we know we're showing up not just for ourselves, but for the other person, too. So if you still need to kind of hack this system to make it work for you, consider getting an accountability partner, putting a time on every week where you're both going to be working together, even if you're not working together.

Nicole Pence Becker: Like baby steps, yeah. Then eventually, you can just actually have the guts to tell somebody, "Actually, I do have a meeting with myself."

Stacie Simpson: Sure.

Nicole Pence Becker: Eventually, you'll get there. Okay. Questions, comments, things that are not as clear as they should be, or examples or something along those lines? Got the mic. Anybody want it? Hot mic.

Nicole Pence Becker: Awesome.

Stacie Simpson: Hi, Sarah.

Sarah: Okay. So what you said about putting it on your calendar. Okay, that's brilliant, because I've noticed I do block time off for myself in my Full Focus paper, easily removed, but I think putting it into the online Google where all the other meetings are, and then even making it recurring, that really holds you accountable.

Stacie Simpson: Yeah, I think that's a great point, too. So I think Sarah is saying when she's writing it down in her paper planner, it's easy to just kind of cross it off if something comes up. When she's got it on her virtual calendar, it can be a recurring task so that gets you in that consistency habit. And if something comes up and it does need to move because we have to do that sometimes, we're going with the flow, and if it does need to move, then you have that function. It connects to your brain. You have this function in the calendar where you know you've got to click it and drag it somewhere else.

You're not pressing the delete button. You know that if you're not doing the thing now, you've got to do it some other time, which might help you in decision-making, too. If I'm pushing this thing down the road a certain number of times, then a, is it something that I actually need to do or not because I haven't done it yet? Or is it something that I'm deprioritizing for a reason and I need to work through that to get it back on the priority?

Sarah: When you look at your virtual calendar and you see what's available and you think "Oh, I can do it there." But then your planner is saying otherwise, and for me, I honor my committed. Oh, that is huge.

Andrea Liebross: All right.

Andrea Liebross: Sarah just had a little light bulb moment.

Stacie Simpson: I love Sarah because she works herself through it.

Nicole Pence Becker: We love to see live thoughts.

Andrea Liebross: But see, we're giving her the opportunity to work.

Stacie Simpson: It's the space for it.

Nicole Pence Becker: Time and planning. What else? Best practices, questions, concerns.

Nicole Pence Becker: Do we have something up here?

Nicole Pence Becker: Awesome. Yes.

Whitney: So I have the Full Focus planner, and I do not like that

Whitney: So, I guess, how do you translate from virtual to paper and vice versa? Because I find that I have to write in pencil.

Whitney: This is very tactical, guys.

Whitney: I'm sorry, but I invest in this journal thing. So I write in pencil, and then I get this block. So if I write down a habit or a goal and the goal doesn't happen, it upsets me a lot. And so I'm just curious, because when I see it on paper, I want to accomplish it. So how do you wrestle with that? And what is your process for that?

Andrea Liebross: Can I answer that one?

Stacie Simpson: Yeah, please.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, so let's go back to our science experiment thinking. Okay, so you wrote down, give me something you wrote down that didn't happen.

Whitney: Sell $10,000 worth of furniture at each stage.

Andrea Liebross: We've talked about this.

Whitney: We have.

Andrea Liebross: Yes. Okay. Sell $10,000 worth of furniture at every stage. Okay, so Whitney stages the house. She puts tags on everything. The new owners of the house are like, "Ooh, this looks great. Let's buy that."

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So I think instead of becoming frustrated, which I totally get, let's think about, this is interesting, this didn't happen. Why didn't it happen? What could I do differently next time? So I think we really have to shift our mindset into this science experimenting kind of thing. This is intriguing because guess what? If you get frustrated, is that useful? Is it serving you? No. Right. So you've got to really reframe how you're thinking about the things that don't actually happen. And this afternoon, in my WILD goals, another preview, W stands for Willing to suck at it.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: I got really creative here, didn't I? So, willing to suck at it. Maybe you just suck at selling $10,000 worth of furniture at every stage. I don't know. I don't think you do. Because I think if we thought about that in a different way, it would happen. Maybe we just have to tweak something.

Whitney: So less judgment, more curiosity.

Andrea Liebross: Yes, that's a great way.

Nicole Pence Becker: I was going to say, or decoring the apple, just peeling it back and saying like, "Well, maybe the person that walked in the home didn't actually understand it all was for sale." Did they fully understand the value that they have in the furniture already being placed and not having to go source it? Like, what communications or messaging did they not fully interpret to understand the additional value of what you're providing and then therefore the sales could have been increased, or even asking them, "Did you know everything was for sale?"

Andrea Liebross: All right, I'm going to take this as an opportunity to move to this next slide because this is a good segue. Is that okay?

Nicole Pence Becker: Yeah. Let's do it.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, so Stacie alluded to time is a resource. Okay. So I believe we've got four most valuable resources, time being one of them. Money is a resource. Brain power is a resource, and people or relationships is another resource. So if Whitney's not selling the $10,000 of furniture at every stage, how could she tap into these other resources? Right now she's using her brain power to try to solve this. Okay, what about someone else's brain? Could we tap into that? We could throw money at it. I don't think this is a throw-money situation. Does it just take more time, though? Does she need to spend time talking to the agents that are bringing the people in the house saying, "Hey, listen, if you want this person to fall in love with this house, you might suggest that this living room setup could be yours."

Andrea Liebross: And then they have a better picture of envisioning themselves in the house.

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: So what resources can she use to get there? So I also want to point out that there's what I call four parts of us.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: There's four parts of us. You have on your table in front of you some rolled up pieces of paper. They're not rolled up.

Andrea Liebross: Are they rolled up? Okay.

Andrea Liebross: You've got something that looks like a calendar, and then you've got an ideal week. I think they're rolled up.

Andrea Liebross: Yes.

Andrea Liebross: Right? I know. Stacie's very excited. Okay, good.

Stacie Simpson: I didn't know that's what was in that roll.

Andrea Liebross: Oh, my God.

Stacie Simpson: I love the ideal week.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, so we've got these two pieces of paper, right? So we're going to do a little exercise to kind of wrap up this discussion about life around these two pieces of paper. Now, there's no right way to do this. There's no wrong way to do this. You don't even have to do this. But I want you to kind of think about the four parts of you, okay? If we're talking about our life and we're talking about time and we're talking about what we believe is possible, I want you to think about how does this all integrate together? So, part number one, I think of you, and this is what I call lifestyle design, so when I'm working with my clients in the mastermind, I make a point that we are doing this at least once a year, reevaluating how they want to design their life. So part number one is really that travel adventure.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So travel, adventure, activity, like things you're doing that may not be part of your day-to-day.

Andrea Liebross: Okay?

Andrea Liebross: So the reason I put a calendar in front of you is because probably everybody in here could look at that calendar for this coming year and block out some time that you know that you're going to be not doing a normal day-to-day. You're going to be traveling. You're doing something fun and exciting. Maybe it's not fun and exciting, but it's going to be an adventure. Okay? So if you can kind of see that on paper, that those days are set for that, and that's something I am choosing to do, remind yourself, then, okay, what time is left, alright? And I always put that first. This piece of the puzzle first, because this is the

Andrea Liebross: part we forget about.

Andrea Liebross: We forget about when you plan that vacation, it sounded so good to leave on Sunday, and then when it's Saturday night, you're like, "Why did I do that?" That was your choice, okay? And you need to make that happen. That's also the time a lot of this gets, this is the things that get, "Oh, I don't have time for that." Okay, so that's part number one. Part number two is your self-care, your personal time. We kind of talked about that in one of the key principles. That needs to go in there. Again,

Andrea Liebross: that's like the next thing that gets exed when something suddenly comes up. Okay, that needs to go in there. Now that is probably not going to go on the yearly calendar, although that would be awesome if you set aside days and days for yourself, I could get into that. But when you look at your week, what part of your week is going to be about you? Okay, so I've kind of gotten into the habit, I will reveal my secret, that Friday afternoons are about me. So if I'm getting my hair cut, if I'm doing any of those sorts of things, it's happening usually on Friday afternoons. So sorry, I will not be talking to you, any of you on that Friday afternoon. But that's kind of in my brain.

Andrea Liebross: Like, that's part of my ideal week. Okay, number three, yes, you all do have family and friends. You all have that, whatever that looks like to you. But they can sometimes get in the way. Right? They get in the way. So what if you decided ahead of time that this was family time, this was friend time? I should have had friend up here, too. I talked to too many women who think that they should be spending or believed or really passionate about spending every waking hour that's not about work with their family.

Andrea Liebross: And I can get behind that. I'm not saying it's the wrong thing, but I'm more about quality over quantity.

Andrea Liebross: Right.

Andrea Liebross: So if you planned a date with your seven-year-old, then on Saturday afternoon from one to three, you're going to get a whole lot more out of that than just saying, "Oh, all Saturday, I'm just going to be at home with them." I really believe that if you're being conscious about that, it's going to give you more of what you want.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So that needs to go in there and maybe that needs to go on your ideal week and maybe you are someone at 5:00 from 5:00 to 8:30, it's family time.

Andrea Liebross: Great.

Andrea Liebross: Okay, then the last piece of the puzzle is the work business part. So when are you doing your work? When are you focusing on your business? And kind of to Stacie's point, if you've got that planned out, it becomes a lot easier to say, "No, I can't meet you for lunch that day. I have a meeting with myself to do whatever. But I can meet you tomorrow." There's always an option. It's not like you're cutting that out forever, but that needs to be on your calendar. I've gotten way better at that. It was very hard in the beginning when I kind of went from my schedule being planned out for me, and it kind of was actually planned out in seasons, to be honest, because the business I worked in before was very like, "This is what winter was about, this is what spring is about." So I kind of had to think that way, and now there's none of that.

Andrea Liebross: And I plan when I'm working each week, and it's pretty consistent. So I know, like, Terry and I are having a conversation, so Terry came from the corporate world, and it's hard right now that every hour is just yours to work on your business. It's just a plethora of options, right? So it's almost like too many options. So, like you were saying, okay, so maybe you're not working 8 hours, no one was. So that needs to be a part of this.

Andrea Liebross: Okay. And then here's the next thing.

Andrea Liebross: I want you to kind of write down, either in your notebook or on the back of this, I really want you to go to, what do you want.

Andrea Liebross: in terms of

Andrea Liebross: how you're designing your life? What do you need in terms of how you're designing your life, and who

Andrea Liebross: do you want to be?

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: Who do you want to be? I will tell you something that really pisses me off, okay. As I've grown into this business and this kind of identity is owning a coaching practice and working with people, a lot of my, I'll call them old friends will say, "Oh, my gosh, I don't want to disturb you.

Andrea Liebross: I know

Andrea Liebross: you're so busy. You've got so many things going on. I don't want to disturb you. You're super busy." Pisses me off. Okay. Because I don't really want to be the person who's known for being so busy. I want to be known as the person who's available if you need me.

Andrea Liebross: Or I can make that happen. I just need to maybe switch a few things around, but I can make it happen.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So who do you want to be? Who do you want to be?

Andrea Liebross: Now I can't control what they're thinking. We could have a whole coaching session on that, but can't control what they're thinking. But I want to show up as someone who's available, okay, for what I want to be available for. But I want to show up as someone who's available. So, like, coming today, you guys all made sacrifices to get here today. Whether you live ten blocks from here or 1000 miles, everybody made a sacrifice because you wanted to be, somewhere in your brain, you're like, "I want to show up for this for me."

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: So you made that happen. And you weren't too busy doing something else. You made it happen. So how do we have the life we want to have? How do we know what we should be focusing on and what's important? It's really time to get real and think about what parts of my life are most important and what's not working out so well right now? I want to end with that kind of point. What's not working out right now? Do you feel like your money isn't working out? Do you feel like your health isn't working out? Do you feel like your marriage isn't working out? What do you wish were different? What do you wish were different?

Andrea Liebross: What's most important? Why aren't things working out the way you want them to work out?

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: And here's a little hint. It is not a fatal flaw of yours. It's not just the way you are. I also get angry when my husband's like, "That's just the way you are." No, it is not just the way I am. I could be any way I want to be, right? It's not just the way you are. There's no fatal flaw. If something's not working out, you have the power to change it.

Andrea Liebross: There is nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with anyone else.

Andrea Liebross: Okay?

Andrea Liebross: There is nothing wrong in the world. There's a lot of things wrong in the world, but there's nothing wrong in the world.

Andrea Liebross: Okay?

Andrea Liebross: You get to decide. The answer is really a lot simpler as to why something might be working out. And the solution is easier than you think. It just is a matter of making some different choices. Just making some different choices. So a lot of what happens in coaching is that I help people identify what the real problem is.

Andrea Liebross: Right?

Andrea Liebross: Nine times out of ten, it's not what's ruminating in your brain pounding, it's something deeper. Okay, so we discover what's the real problem and we figure out a true solution. I want you to encourage you that this year, now the time to change anything that sort of feels like lackluster. It's just kind of there, just kind of good enough. Maybe that has to do with figuring out how you want to use your week, how you want to use your year, right? It might come down to that.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So I gave you a couple of tools which you can use or which you don't have to use. It's all up to you. These are the four parts, just to remind you of that, and then really think about how you're going to integrate all of those parts and design your life. Think about that. I think that word design is really powerful. I did last spring, like a master class. I called it Design Your Ideal Summer. I'm going to do it again, actually, in April.

Andrea Liebross: So how do you design your ideal summer? What does that look like?

Andrea Liebross: Right.

Andrea Liebross: I think there's a little bit of power in that. Maybe that's the artist creativity piece. I don't know. I'm not an artist creativity person, by the way, but that design word to me is powerful. Alright, so for the last couple of minutes before we break for lunch, let's coach live. Who's got some questions? Who's got some thoughts? What's going on? Yes.

Andrea Liebross: That is true.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: Because actually, I did this assessment. It's called the VIA Character Strengths assessment. I don't know if anyone's ever done VIA Character Strengths and creativity is like my number two strength, but it's not arts and crafts. It is thinking.

Andrea Liebross: It is thinking.

Nicole Pence Becker: No Pinterest for you.

Andrea Liebross: No Pinterest for me. I'm not a Pinterest person. Nope, nope, nope.

Nicole Pence Becker: Any questions over here?

Colleen: Hi. My name is Colleen. I have maybe one or two things. So a lot of us are business owners, most of us. And I think a lot of that means that we like to be in control.

Andrea Liebross: Yeah, I'm in on that one.

Colleen: When or what do you start automating? Like when we're talking about time, what are the easiest? Or what should we be letting control letting go of that and starting to automate?

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: I have an awesome tool for you.

Colleen: Okay.

Colleen: And then the other thing I wanted

Colleen: to tell Whitney is I'm actually a

Colleen: client of Whitney's and I didn't know

Colleen: that her furniture was for sale. So maybe tell us more.

Nicole Pence Becker: There you go.

Colleen: Sell the crap out of your

Colleen: furniture, Whitney, just tell me. She just took furniture out of a house ahead for sales.

Andrea Liebross: Look at that.

Colleen: We could have done that.

Andrea Liebross: We need to talk about that. We got to change that. That's a classic. That's a classic.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So thank you for sharing that because that totally hits the nail on the head. What do you automate? So in the book, if I'm going to refer you to a resource, there is a section about the Zone of Extraordinary Achievement.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: And I've created this whole matrix to help you figure that out. But I think what you really have to think about is not just, these are the questions that you're going to have: What am I good at? Your brain is offering up, "Hey, what am I good at? Hey, what am I able to do? Hey, I guess I could put time towards this." So you start to ask these questions, and it's almost as if, yes, you could do it, but could someone else? Yes, you're good at it, but could someone else be good at it, or does it really light you up? Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it. Right? Here's the question that most business owners miss: What's going to move the needle? What's going to move your business ahead the most? If I put resources my own or spend resources to have someone else do it, what's going to push my business ahead the most? Okay, so example would be like, lots of people say, "I really need to work on posting more on social media, or I need to work on my website, or I need to-"

Andrea Liebross: Yes, I'm all in on all those things. But is that really, if your goal is to grow your business, is that better than you meeting with a prospective client? Like, no. Go talk to the person. Have someone else be working on that other stuff. So I think the question a lot of times we miss when deciding whether I should put the resources towards it is "What's going to move my business forward the most, and what can I do and only I do?" Like Whitney said earlier, "I decided to grow my team, and it was costly in the beginning," but it's opened her up to selling more furniture if she talks to people about it.

Andrea Liebross: Right.

Andrea Liebross: And so that's something.

Andrea Liebross: Yes.

Andrea Liebross: You're going to put some resources towards it. She needs to do that stuff. There are things that she can only do. So there's a lot of questions in there, and I think you've got to kind of ask all the questions in order to come up with the answer.

Andrea Liebross: Right, Melanie? Okay.

Andrea Liebross: Yes.

Andrea Liebross: Melanie edited my book just so you want to know. So she has read all the book many a times. She did have it memorized, right? She has it memorized, yes.

Nicole Pence Becker: Any other questions before lunch?

Tiffany: I'm Tiffany from Colorado. But you knew that.

Tiffany: Okay.

Tiffany: Here's my challenge that I keep coming.

Tiffany: back to when we're asking like, "What do you need?"

Tiffany: I need to honor myself and my time because I'm really good at pleasing other people, I will always default to be like, "Oh, I'll put my stuff aside." Okay, so when putting it in my Full Focus planner has failed because I scratch it out and it's like, "Okay, nobody's going to see it," when having an accountability partner might not be, it's not like if I'm trying out somewhere, I can't just be like, "Hey, I'm going to do this for myself and have accountability partner to get on Zoom and do that," and when my digital calendar recurring reminder has become like, I don't even see it anymore.

Andrea Liebross: Background noise?

Andrea Liebross: That was the point because I have some recurring things, I'm like, "Shh."

Tiffany: Yeah, it's just a notification or something that I just push on my phone. When that has failed, what next?

Andrea Liebross: What next? What do you think?

Tiffany: I don't know.

Andrea Liebross: You do know.

Tiffany: I'm totally blank.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: So you know enough to know what I'm going to talk about. Listen, so it's an action you're looking for, right? To honor it, to do whatever you said you were going to do.

Tiffany: Oh, the feeling maybe. Is that where you're going?

Andrea Liebross: That's where I'm going. So in order to take some action, what do you need to feel?

Tiffany: I'm just getting into this.

Andrea Liebross: Yes, you're getting there. I'm feeling proud. I'm feeling accomplished.

Tiffany: I need to feel it like I accomplished it.

Andrea Liebross: Well, you could be the person who already does that. Well, I'm just the person that does that every day. I don't even need to put it on my calendar.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: You could go to that, or you have to kind of play around with this too, like what works for you, but you could also go to the place of, "I am not just interested in doing this, I am committed to doing it." So you take action from a place of commitment. So if it's on your calendar and you're blowing it off, which I'm guilty of too, I was interested in doing that, but I wasn't really committed. Okay, so I think you've really got to assess what feeling is making you just ignore it or not do it. And if you're talking about other people getting in the way, is it guilt? Is it also like worthiness? Is it easier just to attend to them and say, "Oh, I didn't have time?"

Tiffany: Yes.

Andrea Liebross: Right? Yeah, that happens a lot. Like, oh, it's just easier for me to do this and then I'll do the hard thing. Sometimes we're ignoring the hard thing later. Okay, so you've got to go back to what is the feeling that's driving my action or my inaction or my reaction? What's happening? There's something in there that's going on and I think the best way to do this is to tease apart specific examples.

Tiffany: Think I'm avoiding the discomfort of whatever that thing is.

Andrea Liebross: Yes. I think you are. A lot of people are avoiding looking at their numbers.

Stacie Simpson: She just like gagged a little bit.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Tiffany: It's like an exact thing.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: It's an exact thing. So anyone else not really love looking at numbers or analyzing numbers? Some people love it. Well, yes, you do.

Andrea Liebross: Right.

Andrea Liebross: So if that's something that, like, "Ugh!" Okay, you're avoiding it. It's uncomfortable. So you don't like that uncomfortable feeling, which I'm with you. I get it.

Andrea Liebross: I get it.

Andrea Liebross: But think about, give yourself some specific examples of things that you're not attending to.

Andrea Liebross: Okay.

Andrea Liebross: And if there was a time on your calendar where you were going to look at it, maybe you would do it. I'll be honest. I have 50 million coaches, but I have a cash flow coach, okay. Every month we have an appointment on my calendar with another human being, and we go through and we look at my cash flow and we make decisions based on that. I could totally pull all those numbers up myself. I understand profit, I understand all that, but doing it myself, and I would just not do it. So I need that extra support there.

Andrea Liebross: So what really hit you? What really hit you as you were listening into this? Do you feel like you are an expert at the integrating, or do you feel like it's a struggle? Do you feel like you want to know all the things about time and how it works, or are you okay realizing that time management is just mind management? Have you tried the Full Focus system? There are lots of other podcasts in the Time to Level Up Podcast library about the Full Focus system so I encourage you to go listen to those. If this is something that you really want to work more on, I would encourage you to reach out and set up a call with me because in my coaching programs, in all of them, regardless of which one, we deal with and we tackle this time issue. So if you need help with this, if becoming better at it would make your life better, then I encourage you to head over to andreaslinks.com or go to the show notes and click set up a call and let's chat about it. Let's see what happens. I bet in the call in itself, you'll learn something regardless of whether you continue on with coaching or not. The call itself is worth $1,000.

Andrea Liebross: Okay. So, my friends, here are my asks: Number one, direct message me. Tell me what you really loved about this episode. Number two, share this episode with someone who is always telling you they don't have enough time. Number three, do yourself a favor and set up a consult call if you are wanting to become a better manager of your time. And I guess there's a number four.

Andrea Liebross: Number four would be write a review. I'm really pushing writing reviews for my podcast these days because it's important and I haven't really been talking about it so my producer reminded me I should be talking about it. Alright, my friends, until next time, now is your time to level up. And leveling up doesn't mean doing more or spending more time on things you don't love. It means creating a life and a business that align with who you want to be. All right, have a great week.

Andrea Liebross: See you next time.