Being married to a doctor, a lawyer or any “uber” professional with a demanding work schedule, is wonderful.
But not always glamorous.
Great things come with having a ‘successful’ spouse that are very apparent to the outside world. What might not be apparent, are the secret skills you develop and benefit from along the way. They are not always visible to you either and seeing them in yourself requires you take a different perspective. And that must be a conscious choice. Why even try? Because these secret benefits can translate into even more, and create possibilities. So what are they and why are they positive?
1. You are a leader
Even if you were not a line leader in elementary school, a varsity sport captain or president of the senior class, being married to an uber professional and assuming the role of Household CEO means you have become a leader, by default. You lead the household and all that entails: bills, cleaning, vacations, family schedules, laundry, kids, pets – it’s all YOU. It is even you if you too are working a full time job. All daily decisions go to the top, to you, the leader.
Benefit? Everyone wants a work with a leader. Your leadership skills can translate into possibilities for growth outside the house.
2. You are great at making friends
Spouse is working over a holiday. You have no family around. This also maybe the third city you have lived in as many years. Who do you turn to? Your friends. Because once you start spending holidays, birthdays and celebrations with these friends, they turn into your family. It can be a lonely road being married to an “uber” professional, and you become adept at finding new people to spend time with. You are not afraid to “invite yourself.”
Benefit? People in a lot of different places equal connections! Developing friendships with these people requires conversation skills which equals networking. Being a connector creates more possibilities for the future.
You plan for weeks in the far future. And down to the minute this week. You plan 18 months out. You plan vacations years in advance, since your spouse’s holiday work schedule goes five years out. He requests weeks off well over a year ahead, and his work calendar never changes. So, you coordinate school calendars. You predict wedding dates and births. Will my child make the competitive travel team? All in order to plan your family time. It is reality. And it is okay. You get to like having a plan. It eliminates energy and time spent on indecision. You know your plan before anyone else. And you get the best airfares. :)
However, you don’t know the plan for five minutes from now. Will Dad be home for dinner? Will he be able to pick up the kid from practice? Often the answer is NO. And that is okay. You adapt quickly. You make decisions on the fly. You also call on your village for help.
Benefit: Your planning skills are used to plan out your own life. But you can also adapt quickly. What are you planning just for you?
4. You are extremely resourceful
You know stuff and people and how to use what you have. You have someone in your Contact List to help with anything. You serve as the neighborhood Angie’s List. With no family and no spouse (sort of), you have learned to find a way to do it. Fixing a leak, painting a house, getting two kids to different places at the same time, or walking the dog. You have figured out how to get it done. That in itself is a secret skill!
Benefit: You know how to get things done. You are a doer. The world is looking for doers. It is possible that someone outside of your home needs you.
Empowered by solitude is a powerful idea. If you choose to think of your position as empowering, it will be. Your solitude allows you to do the unthinkable; move to a city without knowing a sole. To take unimaginable chances; flying by yourself with a two kids under the age of two. You find ways to make the solitude work; becoming an entrepreneur. You just do it. Because you can. Because that is who you are.
Benefit: You really do know that you can do anything on your own. And that is empowering.
So, GO FOR IT.
Being married to an “uber” professional has it’s secret benefits. When we discover hidden positives, we have the power to create new possibilities and change direction, right where we are.
Struggling to see benefits? I can help you find and use them to create an action plan to take you from wherever are now to where you want to be. An action plan can empower you change direction in your career, relationships or lifestyle. You might just need a fresh set of eyes. And a push. CLICK HERE To Schedule A FREE Discovery Session
What benefits do you see in your current situation? Share in the comments section.